
Single Parenting Support Group
Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.
Very confused and don't know where to turn...

xjanedoe
I will try to sum this up quickly, it could turn into a book if I let it! I have been divorced for 3 years and have shared legal and physical custody with my X. He had an affair and has been living with the other woman since he walked out. I have taken this quite well and have actually encouraged my 4 year old daughter to give her a chance. I have done everything I could do to make this easy on my Daughter. But about a year ago my X has been extrememly secretive and will not allow me to call him on the phone. I must e-mail him. My Daughter has been telling me things that horrify me. She has to let them sleep in every day, she cannot wake them up when she wakes up. She is alone in the house for hours. She sometimes sits at the dinner table for long periods of time until she finishes her plate (Her Grandmother called me about this, she witnessed it on Christmas. She sat there for 1hr 15min. They piled her plate with more than a 4 year old can possibly eat. They also had to wait until almost Noon to open presents because they were sleeping>) The most recent thing was that she got punished for crying that her Grandma was leaving. She also had a story this weekend about her telling her Dad that he hurt her feelings and his reply was "GOOD!". Now, I don't want to jump the gun and start accusing him of things if he is not really doing them so I am arranging a meeting with him to discuss it. My question to you is, do you think I am over reacting? I posted my concerns on another support site and someone accused me of having control issues and told me that I should not think about it and let them Parent the way they want to. That just doesn't sit right with me. What would you do?
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On a personal level, I'm so sad for your daughter! You should absolutely speak up and get that court date on the books ASAP!
I had a set of different concerns with my ex and my son. Like you I tried to consider the step mom with my son and not make him feel torn or in the middle. I told him he can call her mom if he wants. He said she doesn't want it because her sons wouldn't take it well(her sons reject my exhusband and aren't too friendly with my son either). But the step mom crossed a line this past year with two things. With no parental rights on my son and my ex never showing interest in his school, had a friend call about work experience, and also got ahold of transitioning papers before I'd ever seen them(and they normally aren't given out for a few more years). I've got sole custody of our son with joint guardianship. Anyways then there was an incident where my ex lost it, got suicidal, she dragged my son into it and he was traumatized. Her own children are out of control and my exhusband has complained on that.
So I can relate to what your going through. Though our kids are different ages and what happening is a bit different. I had my son in councelling for some of it though and the councellor did speak to his father. It did seem to help.
The person who gave you that advise probably doesn't have kids. So I would not take her advise.
It is not what you say, but how you say it. So my advise to you is to bring your concerns to him without being accusatory.
Don't worry about doing the right thing. I know if that were me I would follow up on it.
I agree with DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT!
It would piss me off too, treating a child like that. Go for it and good luck!