Single Parenting Support Group
Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.
Hi all. I have two daughters and left their father seven months ago. It was an abusive relationship between all of us. Anyway, my older daughter has been in and out of the hospital for the last month and a half for mental health issues. She is recommended for a residential treatment facility where she will be gone for a minimum of three months. She has been involved with a registered sex offender. He has been arrested and charged for the contact and the other stuff that has gone along with it. We, my younger daughter and myself have been traumatized by her behavior and mental illness outbreaks. I feel like I'm second guessing myself in putting her through the this treatment facility. I know it's for the best for all of us and she does have some good days but I also feel like she is manipulating the situation again and playing me for the fool. We have family based therapy in the home now, psychiatrists, and case management. I just feel like I'm not doing the right thing anymore for anyone. I feel like I'm going to be almost sending my daughter away and she will not be any better or that she will hate me for it and what relationship we have will be totally broken. Can someone please help me deal with this? Thanks
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I have 3 kids. 24. 17. 15. My 17 yr old has become super defiant. He and his 15 yr old sister have on their own decision stopped going to their dads because he and his household is so toxic.My 15 yr old and myself feel like we have to tip toe around my son who is 17. And physically towers over us and out weighs us. He has become emotionally abusive and on the verge of becoming physically...
I'm sorry to hear your family has had so much difficulty lately. My teen has had multiple hospital visits and we have in the past had in-home counselors. Though it's probably different due to his disability. But, we've used psych meds before and at one point I was considering whether he might need residential treatment - though I don't think the doctors were considering it. All that to say I might half-way understand some of it. Things can feel daunting, but look at all your successes. You left an abusive relationship - that takes a lot of strength. You're doing your best to get help for a child who is having a very difficult time - it's not easy, but you're doing it. None of us can tell the future. We all just make the best decisions we can and move forward. If it doesn't work out we try something different.
Will your relatioship with your daughter be affected by this decision? Maybe .... but you've tried other things and they aren't fully effective. Doctors and/ or other professionals say this is the next step, right? In the long term she should come around. But initially she may be dissatisfied.
As far as whether she'll be better after...well, there should be some reasonable "treatment goals" and a clear idea of how they'll be addressed.
You've faced a lot, and have already proven how strong you are. You can handle this too.
I hope any of this helps.
Best wishes.
Beryl
I am recovering from an abusive relationship too, and it is just .... grueling, as you know all too well. So be kind to yourself, meaning FORGIVE yourself for not being all-poweful and all-knowing. We are all broken people doing our best.
We all want to be loved and befriended by our children, but it doesn't always happen or sometime it happens later in life after we and they have become healthier. The hard truth is, we aren't here to be their friend. We are here to do what we think is best for them, even if it seriously pisses them off. They usually wake up at some point and start to understand and appreciate the love.
Your daughters will learn from you how to treat others and also how to treat themselves. So remember that you are a loving, devoted, imperfect, hard-working, brave, responsible single mother and a survivor. You are valuable. You are important. You are good. Keep fighting the good fight.