Single Parenting Support Group
Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.
Back to the saga. Despite my multiple efforts to show the court that my 2 year old child is too youg to go with her absent father who she has never live with, in an overnight. The court enabled his abuse and mandated the overnights. I am completely defeated, I worry about how this is going to affect my child and I feel without any power , any strength to handle the situation with a man that refuses to even take my phone calls and brings family and friend to pick ups to tell me that I only tried to trap him through my child.
It is hard to be a single mom, harder to operate in this situation. I feel my child is not mine and if I let her go, my life wont be the same. I can't enjoy been a mom in this set up with a guy that excuses his lack of responsibility with the argument that I wanted to force him to marry and that because I did not answer text messages that only indicated he wanted to be involved but when asked on the phone and in person how he envision his invonvolvement he answered "by you asking me that I feel attacked and when I feel attacked I am a thug", he has the right to force himself into our lives (his words) and destroy all I have built during this time.
Of course the court can care less about the fact that I needed to protect myself from a person that abused me while together in our brief relationship and is forcing me to have a coparent relationship with a person that clearly wants to play happy family with my child and current girlfriend. I know to the world I am a crazy jelous ex-girlfriend that got pregnant on purpose but at 40 with no other children all I want is to enjoy motherhood and I just cant.
I know my child may benefit from his presence, but I will have to do all the heavy lifting alone while bearing his mistreatement, threats and intimidation, while I try to build a relationship with my child.
Any thoughts?
Does he bring potential witnesses to pickups? You do it too if/when you can. This will protect you if he tries to go back to court one day. Whatever you do, remain calm and in control of yourself when he's there. Are you by any chance in a one-party state? (Where only one-party in a conversation (you,) has to be informed if the conversation is being recorded). If so, is there any way you can record pick up/ drop off sometime without telling him. Never tell him, but save it to use with the police or courts if you ever have to. Never tell him! (He sounds like the kind of person who could be violent if he was being, or felt he was being, threatened. (But maybe I am mixing him up with someone he reminds me of). Do not try to use a recording to control him, just save it for your records. He should never know about it).
Is there any chance he'll lose interest in your child when he breaks up w/ his girlfriend? (He doesn't sound like a long-term relationship kind of guy).
You have such a tough situation, my thoughts and prayers are with you.