help?

Hi Nan, i'm sooooo sorry that this has happened to you. It hurts when someone you love treats you this way. Lord know's, I've been there myself.

Take a deep breath.......... it's going to be a tough road to take but you have the strength to take it. I know you can.

I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you what I did. I left and I had to change my way of thinking in order to feel good about my decision. You now have 4 kids to love and raise. They will need their mom to be strong (and I know you are). Hold your head high and tell yourself, I CAN!!!

I'm sure that in the area you live, there are support groups for single parents. Check them out. See if there is one that you feel comfortable with.

One more thing, something I learned from my CoDA group, never let your feelings get bottled up. If you feel angry, let yourself feel angry. If you feel sad, let yourself feel sad, but don't dwell on those feelings. Experience them.

I hope this helped a little.
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
Tina

I am so sorry you are going through something like that. I dont understand how anyone could do that. it really blows my mind. Its going to be very hard. But, you have 4 wonderful children who are going to be your strength to move on and live life. They are going to grow up and know how strong of a mother they have. PLus I know it kills now, but do you really want to be with someone who can treat you like that? Be glad you found him out and see his true colors now. Who knows how long he would have continued it and you would have never known.

thank you sooo soo much you guys are all i have here my family are so far so thank you for all your supporthugzzzzzzzz i really hope the pain will go away

hey...i know it hurts and you think life is really unfair. but you will make it through. i dont understand either why someone would do that. i can not stand a cheater. i dont even hang out with friends after i find out they have done that. when you give someone your entire heart...the sorriest thing you can do to them is betray them. i think we all worry about that. i dont see how people can do that and just walk around with a smile like nothing ever happend. while mean time...the ones you betrayed are left shattered because they really loved you and trusted you with thier heart. i feel your pain. just look at your kids and do for them...you will get your joy from thier smiles.

well i dont mean to be mean or nothing but the way i see it men dont give a chit excuse the langue but they can just start over any time and with any one not so easy for us weman we have to find someonethat will except and treat are kids right .i know you love your kids and thats what you need to consontrate on do it for you and them noone els youl be find put one foot infront of the other one day at a time

Man that is tough, I could give you the old pick yourself up and dust...Well you know. Fu@k him. Cry yell get pissed. She can have him. You can do it. No one can tell you how, just trust your instincts and let it happen. It is in you I promise.

rise above it, be strong for your kids.

i agree, i have no idea how a man can cheat like that, but I also would never accept it.

Lots of people gave good advice. Places that you can lean on until you are "back on your feet".

From experience I learned this with my oldest son. I never bad-mouthed his father in font of him. He found out first-hand what a dead beat he was. He proclaimed that his step father was his REAL father, all on his own. Who unfortunately passed in Feb of this year and sent my son into a spiral of destruction :(

put on your kevlar suit and be strong for YOU and your kids. I have five, so I'm right there with ya.

email me if you ever want to talk.

I know right now it feels like you cant cope, you are questioning everything and wondering how all of this came about. I promise you that you will cope, it will be hard the toughest thing that you probably ever had to do but we are resilient and we nd to bounce back. In the mean time do what feels right to you cry, scream, hit out at pillows whatever it may be for you. Just take pride and pleasure in the fact that as togh as it is, you are the one with the rewards of the children. They will get you though and he is the idiot that lost everything and not you. I know it is very hard and i am so very sorry for you and i send big hugs and suppport your way. i am thinking of you and i will sed up a prayer for you.

Hey,
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Your reaction sounds so much like mine. And I'll tell you that the sooner you stop trying to make his actions make sense to you, the faster you'd find the strength you need for your children. I always have to remind myself that Evil and Madness never make sense to good and sane people...You will never understand, because he's either evil or crazy.

going through similar and also struggling how a "father" can turn their back on their own flesh and blood.

Tried to comprehand why they seem to have no heart, but now I focus on the children. The father is the one with the problem

Stay strong