Single Parenting Support Group

Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.

1,370 Members

1,847 Posts

0 Online

Hangingon 04/30/2017

I'm having a rough time this weekend. My daughters are at their Dad's this weekend and it happens to be their birthday weekend (I have twins) and it is also the 4 year anniversary that I lost my Dad. I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself and the way my life has turned out. Then my daughters' step Mom posted a comment about Child Support on Facebook:

"When the other parent is actually providing for the child/ren you two created, and the other parent actually sees the child/ren, then you need to calm the hell down. If you didn't live beyond your means, the child support wouldn't be life or death to you. Be responsible. Be the parent, not the child's/children's friend.
If you cannot afford the extras even with the child support, than don't spend the money. Child support is for the children. Not you. If your child or children like you 100% of the time, or even 60% of the time, then you aren't doing your job. You are raising them to be adults the world has to deal with. Remember that when you try to buy your kid (s). "

So then I jumped to conclusions and sent her a private message asking if it was about me. Right there I shouldn't have done that because then she posted this comment:

"Strangely enough, I know multiple people who take responsibility for their children and actually pay child support. I know multiple people who also use the support for other things than the child/children."

I sent her another message saying nevermind, I don't think your original comment was about me after all. Then, I commented after her latest comment, on her facebook page about "I know multiple people who use support for the children and yet, several that don't consistently pay child support." She deleted my comment.

I admit, that last comment was about my ex (her husband) because he gets to pay only the minimum required by the state and yet we went 5 months without getting anything from him. Every once in awhile he changes jobs and drags his feet calling CSRU about giving them information. Then when he does call, he gives them false information.

Anyways, I feel like I stuck my foot in my mouth today - which I rarely do but honestly I'm frustrated. I kept thinking if she is talking about me, then she has absolutely no clue what we have had to do to keep food on the table.

What are your thoughts? Am I just blowing this out of proportion?

mmarlowe 05/13/2017

Hello. I appreciate you sharing. To be honest with you...I hate dealing with child support. I didn't place by daughter's sperm donor on child support, because I feel he already knows his responsibilities. He doesn't need a reminder. Sometimes he pays and sometimes he doesn't..oh well. And guess what...people always have a comment about whatever you do or don't do. I have bigger and better things to worry about that deals directly with my child. My advice to you is don't sweat the small stuff and stay focused on your babies. I am too busy to even notice what people post on social media. I don't think you were wrong for asking her about the post, but maybe you should have called her or talked it out in person. As mothers and grown women, I do feel it is important for us to address things that are bothering us. We can make a butt out of ourselves when we assume things..haha! I do feel like you may created this situation without realizing it, because you didn't want to focus on what is really bothering you...your twins birthday and the passing of your father. Spend some time with friends or do something that usually makes you happy..to take your mind off of things.

Hangingon 05/14/2017

Thank you! After I vented on this, I worked at letting it all go. Nothing else was said on her part and I didn't say anything more either. But yes, I agree next time I should just call her up instead of sending her a message.

Join the Conversation