Single Parenting Support Group
Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.
Why does everything have to be such a struggle ? Every day is like that. I'm in tears just about every day asking myself....what did I do wrong? I just feel like I have failed in so many areas. Im a single parent of two boys ages 16 & 7. I feel like both have no clue what respect is. When i say "no" to anything it lands up in big arguments. If I asked them to do simple chores.....it lands up in arguments. If something goes wrong....Im blamed for it....for everything. If I try to explain anything...it leads to arguments. My younger son is picking up bad habits from my older son.....more disrespect, no listening, talking back, etc. Even before I was divorced I was the sole caretaker of both my boys. So its always been just the three of us. I do punish them when needed and most of the time they do apologize.....but why does it have to happen at all ? The apologies dont mean anything anymore because they are just words. I know this is all part of parenting....but when there are arguments almost every day it really starts to weigh heavily on you.
He is a "good kid" but he is also terrible to his mother at times. We've found out this is in part rebellion against losing his dad (9 years ago!)
It's very hard being a single parent. My own child blames me for daddy going away (he passed away) and for how we live, where we live, what we don't have.
Sometimes, the only thing you can do is keep reminding them to be good, and keep trying to remind yourself this is temporary. They will go through phases, through fits, through nasty, horrible coments (my 6 year old often says she hates me and wishes I would just go away forever) most of what they say, honestly they do not mean!
My best friend has started taking her son aside for time to talk about whatever's bothering him, without judgment (which was hard when she found he had a drug habit) I have struggled with my own grief, and forgot my daughter is grieving losing a 2nd dad (I didn't realize losing the first as a baby she would even remember!)
Keep the channels open to the kids. Keep requiring respect and when necessary using punishments (and reward good behavior) and remember, you have ears here to listen, even if sometimes we are a little slow getting back here ;)
That is part of being a teenager, but it doesn't make it any easier to stomach. It weighs on me too. I feel like I walk on eggshells with them most of the time to avoid an argument.