Yeahh I think its real easy for some people because they've been pushed to be outgoing since they were real little. I haven't been pushed much and here I am today, still shy. Yeahh and I rreaaaally hate being out in front of people, hate karaoke too (never have done it, never intend to either!). Been on break and all I've been doing is sitting at home...

One thing that really bothers me though is that shyness can sometimes be seen as cockiness to others who don't know me... :(

I find the only way i have conquered some, not all, of my shyness is by pushing my self to do things that make me interact with people. Like volunteering, it makes me sooo nervous everytime because i always feel useless and feel like no one will want my help or want to talk to me...but at the end of each experience its always been worth it.

I dont think doing karaoke, or public speaking is something for you, but i would try doing something that puts you out of your element but that isnt about you, takes some of the pressure off. thats why i suggest volunteering, the main purpose is totally unrelated to you, but you can benifit greatly, whereas things your husband does, all eyes are on him making it kind of about him. If that makes any sence...

I am almost the same as you, I am almost 50 and still shy. My ex was like yr husband, all social, very outgoing, had all kinds of friends, would do the karaoke too. I used to think I would outgrow it too, not yet, I am still waiting. My counselor says that I have to take it in steps,,meet people at events, ask them about themselves-(she says that people love to talk about themselves!) talk to people at the store check out lanes, the library, just build confidence in little steps. I wish you the best

Yeah it's hard...being shy I mean. I have to push myself to seek people out, even when I'm at work because I find it quite unnerving and scary...even though generally it's fine...

I am 40 and I tell you if I had one word to describe my life, it would be that evil word,"shyness." To me, shyness is bad, to others it is cute, or not bad. I just think of it as all bad - a handicap. Many people have judged me as being "standoffish," disconnected, conceited and even mean. I have been taken advantage of, manipulated, controlled and even humiliated because of it. I feel like I have been robbed of my life in many ways because of this condition. I am convinced that it is not something that one can outgrow. I think therapy could help. For me, what has helped is trying to encounter the same group of people (instead of large, different crowds). It's okay to have the same routine with the same group of people (that you feel comfortable with). It's better than feeling anxious all the time, and accept that you may never be like your husband, but you can improve. I hope this helps a little. Good luck to you.

I know exactly what you mean,it is so hard all the time gets you down and i get realy jealous of other poeple who seem to just walk in to a room and talk talk talk!

Your post is like looking in a mirror. I thought I would out grow it. Nope. My H is very talkative, and he wasn't always understanding to how hard of a time I was having. he made it worse.

I made myself get out recently and have people who talk so easy, while I suffer, but now I smile. A harsh lesson I taught myself is to not compare myself to other people. That always depressed the hell out of me, comparing.

I lay down at night going over my day, nitpicking conversations that bombed, and say the same, why would people want to know me, but I push on. A neighbor once told me when I was14, someone I meet will have me overcome some of my shyness. It was my husband. I have been with him for over 20 yrs, and he shoved me hard out of some of my shyness, by forcing me into social situations. I cried many days and I am thankful for it now.

I don't think I will ever outgrow it, but I have learned to deal with it without beating myself up.

i isolate myself, dont go out unless i have to.. and i cant go alone...i always have to have someone with me...and i cant have that all the time, so i wait......i do have 2 really close friends,...my safe place is my bedroom.....and theres no way i would talk in front of group, like u said he does kareoke... no way!!...and Davis88, i feel ya, sometimes when i get invited to like parties and i turn them down because i don't know the people ...they think im a snob, but im not.......good luck to u guys

I completely relate to many of the comments here. I am 46 and sick of being shy, always hoping i would also outgrow it. It is so depressing to me. Other people really dont understand and def thinking i am standoffish also. Like cris, i feel robbed of my life also.

I have a relatively new boyfriend (I am recently divorced after 20yrs of marriage) and it is such a challenge to go out with his friends and have dinner with his family because i just freeze up as the night goes on, not being able to think of ANYTHING to say. Ugh, its so stressful! My bf is also on the shy side and so is obviously accepting of me.

I am so envious of people who are talkative and funny. I'd give anything to be like that and really dont like myself. I believe shy people are kind hearted and caring and i try to hang onto that part of me as something good.