Shyness Support Group
Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc. The initial cause of shyness can vary. Scientists have located some genetic data that supports the hypothesis that shyness is at least partially genetic.
Hi everyone. I'm new to this group but after reading some of your posts I see that I'm certainly not alone.
I have always been very introverted my whole life. I consider myself friendly and easy to talk to, and even somewhat outgoing once I get to know people, but even then, most observers has always dubbed me as the "shy girl". They always say it like its such a negative thing to be a little quieter than most and I often feel judged for it.
I have always told myself that it's not a bad thing and I'm proud of who I am, but it really bothers me when it starts to be viewed as a negative trait at my work and school. I had a boss that once told me I needed to be outgoing, my classmate often tells me to "put myself out there," and today at my internship, I actually got points off my grade for not socializing and mingling with the clients more. Even though I am doing everything I'm told do, am always on time, cooperative, and friendly.
I was told that I need to "break out of my shell" and force myself to be outgoing. It really frustrates me because they may as well be saying that I'm not ok how I am. Does anyone else feel this way? I don't think extroverted people understand that when you're introverted, it's just not that easy. I have made adjustments and pushed myself to step out of my comfort zone but it just never feels like its good enough for the extroverts in my life. I wonder how a very extroverted person would feel if we turn the tables and told them to be more quiet and keep to themselves. It's just not that easy to change who you naturally are.
I have always been very introverted my whole life. I consider myself friendly and easy to talk to, and even somewhat outgoing once I get to know people, but even then, most observers has always dubbed me as the "shy girl". They always say it like its such a negative thing to be a little quieter than most and I often feel judged for it.
I have always told myself that it's not a bad thing and I'm proud of who I am, but it really bothers me when it starts to be viewed as a negative trait at my work and school. I had a boss that once told me I needed to be outgoing, my classmate often tells me to "put myself out there," and today at my internship, I actually got points off my grade for not socializing and mingling with the clients more. Even though I am doing everything I'm told do, am always on time, cooperative, and friendly.
I was told that I need to "break out of my shell" and force myself to be outgoing. It really frustrates me because they may as well be saying that I'm not ok how I am. Does anyone else feel this way? I don't think extroverted people understand that when you're introverted, it's just not that easy. I have made adjustments and pushed myself to step out of my comfort zone but it just never feels like its good enough for the extroverts in my life. I wonder how a very extroverted person would feel if we turn the tables and told them to be more quiet and keep to themselves. It's just not that easy to change who you naturally are.
Seems unfair, and it is.
I had to learn how to fake being an extrovert when needed just to get anything DONE in life. But I don't consider it at all easy.
Well said and I agree completely.
BIG HUGS!
Through my entire childhood, at ever single school "you have to talk more" "you didn't get a A because you need to talk more" Talk moreeeeee.
But they never told me how, or even why. I'm introverted, deal with it. There is no button we can push that makes us automatically extrovert. As you said, why does being introverted have to be a bad thing?
I
consider myself a good person, but yes I am quiet. I do not speak if I have nothing to say, but school and society has made me feel like I should so I panic and try to find things to say. It's so wrong. . Why should we need to change? We're all different people
Ive tried to be extroverted but I'm NOT. It's not me! It never has been. And no they don't get it. It's never enough. No matter how much we leave our comfort zones, it can always be a little more.
I'm the quiet girl. Before I always hated that. I felt like it was wrong, and i still do sometimes. But I think it's the society that needs to adjust NOT us!
I'm the same way manito. I try to say things or make conversation because "I'm too quiet" but then it always comes out awkward and I just feel like an idiot. My grandfather always had a saying "Its better for someone to think you're a fool then to speak and remove the doubt." Thats the philosophy I got by. If I don't have anything constructive to contribute, I'm not going to talk. Where I know some extroverts who don't know when to stop talking and just end up looking silly.
So thanks all of you. I'm glad I'm not alone. :)