I have been shy most of my life as well. It is really scarry just to go up to someone and introduce myself. I feel as though I have a phobia of talking to others. When I am able to talk to others I cant get beyond introducing myself. I just don't know what to say to people, or even how to begin a conversation with other people.
Yesterday a neighbor was flurting with me and I felt frozen. I did not know what to say or even how to react. I would really like to be able to sochelize wit other people, I just dont know where to begin talking to them or how to introduce myself to others. I feel lost in a world of total isolation

Yes talking is difficult. Flirting is difficult but I am surprised what will come out of my mouth sometimes when I let myself speak lol. U should try talking to that neighbor again unless she is not ur type. I feel that way alot too. I went out on this date recently. Very cute guy lol I tried my best to talk to him but I get the feeling he is used to girls who r comfortable w conversation and who talk alot. I just don't. I hope to c him again but idk.

I am new at this. I am always afraid to talk with others and tend to remain quiet for fear of rejection of what I say and how I dress. The only friend that I have is the Journal in my computer

I was like you. Im old now, almost 60. It took me a long time... not to figure out the world, but to figure out me. I hope I can help you.
First thing to do is know yourself. Find what interests you, what you dislike. Second is to find passion. Learn, dig, explore your interests. Being passionate about something is power. Third is don't look for love. Instead look for people you enjoy. Ask them about themselves. See if they interest you.
Do these and the world opens up. You will attract exactly the people you have been wishing you already knew.

Hi Melissa...

Talking to people for me is sometimes just about impossible, other times you just can't shut me up hehe :) Sometimes people find me really vivacious, other times they think I'm either boring, or at worst rude and arrogant.

I think one of the difficult things throughout my life is I have had this idea that I should be able to turn it on and turn it off at will and I can use that to beat myself up. In most things, I tend to analyze, internalise, judge. Classic Introvert. Sometimes it's shyness, self consciousness or shame, but really and truthfully I just need time away from people to recharge the batteries from time to time. Also, my conversations tend to be INTENSE also (!), small talk is pretty hard for me or just uninteresting and some people don't get that. Ah well, their loss :)

My name is Paul, and I'm an introvert...hehe. No shame in that, introvert is not a dirty word!

P

I am a new person that joined Daily Strength last night. I have been shy most of my life and it only affects me when I talk to my doctors and dentists. I can look in my parents, brother and sister-in-law, uncle, cousins but not my doctors. Can anyone help me to overcome my shyness?

One central dimension of personality is introversion versus extroversion. An introvert: is a person who draws energy from time spent alone. Introverts find social situations draining and need time alone to recharge after being around people. They tend to be introspective and like to explore thoughts and feelings.They may prefer to talk about concepts and ideas rather than making small talk.

Shyness: (also called diffidence) is the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness especially when a person is in proximity to other people. This commonly occurs in new situations or with unfamiliar people. Shyness; can be a characteristic of people who have low self-esteem. Stronger forms of shyness are usually referred to as social anxiety or social phobia.

The primary defining characteristic of shyness is a largely ego-driven fear of what other people will think of a person's behavior. This result in a person becoming scared of doing or saying what he or she wants to out of fear of negative reactions, being laughed at or humiliated, criticism, and/or rejection. A shy person may simply opt to avoid social situations instead.

When we are around the right people we blossom with people that make us uncomfortable brings out this natural defense system. To over come shyness we may need to get with people who have the same issue/or and get counseling.

hi!! I'm new to this site. when I was little I was not shy at all but as I grew older I got very shy. I wish I could over come being shy so I could not be afraid to go and talk to someone. although my friend is very extrovert and has helped me to get, sort of, out of my shell I still at time become very shy. when I'm with friends I'm fine but if I'm by myself I have a hard time starting conversations.

I got more extroverted after 30. Many people become less shy after 30.

Thx for the advice nolaguy. I haven't checked on this post in a while. I didn't realize that so many ppl had replied. I find myself at a loss for places to meet new ppl. I have looked online for interest groups but not very many interested me. The few that did only had 2 or 3 ppl and they did not seem very active. It also appears that a lot of social activities r tailored to a certain personality type. I don't feel any anxiety or aprehension about how others r going to react to what I say. Clothes r clothes lol. They do not define a person. Also, I find myself not wanting to share my opinion or viewpoint whether it is negative or positive on whatever topic is being discussed. I don't have an opinion on or react to a lot of what is out there. It is difficult to find time to socialize when I have a son, forever looking for a job lol, and keeping it together.

I have been shy, anxious, introverted most of my almost 50 years. I have not found a sure fire cure for it, sometimes I still struggle terribly with it. But, on certain levels, I prefer to be alone and, often, don't quite get the whole "social" scene. But, as we all know, it can get to be too much. especially when there is someone or some event you really want to be involved with and your shyness holds you back, as someone said earlier-isolated.
One bit of advice that was mentioned earlier that I have been trying to establish with myself is to stop trying to make others like me and instead, use that energy to see if I like THEM. See if they have anything to offer me instead of being so overwhelmingly concerned that I might not pass the audition. Really, I feel like the whole world is auditioning me for the part of playing me and I am also constantly judging myself and my performance.
I am trying to put myself on the other side of the audition in the future.