Shopping Addiction Support Group

Oniomania (also known as shopping addiction), is the compulsive desire to shop. Similar to other compulsive behaviors, sufferers often experience the highs and lows associated with addiction. The purchase generates a mood of satisfaction, gives their life meaning, and lets them forget about their sorrows.

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Addiction & Recovery
/ Shopping Addiction Support Group

SHOPAHOLIC TRYING TO STOP

angelalynn1432
angelalynn1432
Hello,
I have always been shopaholic. I grew up with a single mom who lived paycheck to paycheck. My husband owns a construction company but I have told him long ago not to let me be in charge of the finances! I am currently not working and I only have child support to spend!

We have a Big blended family with 5 kids. We both had 2 children from prior marriages and together we have a 7 year old. The kids HATE shopping with me because it means spending two hours at a time in a thrift store going through everything but they do love when I come home with new clothes for them.

14 months ago I started to sell on eBay . Let's just say being a buyer on eBay vs a seller is MUCH EASIER! I became a top rated seller shortly after I started. I think that's what put my shopping addiction at a whole new level. I now do not shop in my (or family) sizes but I'm now buying any size clothes at a good deal. I search EVERY ISLE OF 5 thrift stores to find that Diamond in a rough. It usually is always is very profitable but it took a lot of time.

I think that's where my problem lies. Because we are not in debt and I shop secondhand stores nobody really seems to think that I have a problem. My problem is that I shop every single day and I spend spend spend. I never seem to have time to list all the things I have for sale on eBay because I just keep buying. I thought of getting an assistant to do the listing part while I do the shopping cart.

If I try to not shop I basically cannot even leave my house. A while ago my husband did try to tell me I have a problem but I just blew it off and explained that is my job I have to shop in order to sell. Only problem is the money I make I just spend. I have a ridiculous amount of designer everything (purses, jeans, clothes, perfume, bras, ect) .


Whenever somebody compliments something I'm wearing I can't stop myself from telling them where I got it and how much it cost because it's such a good deal!
For example... I bought my teenage son an UNDER ARMOUR wrist watch from Tjmaxx for $10 but since it was too big for him I eventually got around to listing it on eBay! That $10 watch turned into $210.!!!!

So my question is... Should I think of this as my "job" or a problem?
gardensparrow
gardensparrow
Well, an addiction to spending can definitely be a legitimate problem, and if it's causing problems in your marriage it probably would be a good idea to look into the possibility of getting some help. So, you might want to consider talking with a counselor and getting their take on your spending habits. Addictions are not easy to break on your own, so I think a professional's help could go a long way. Also, if you're interested there's a couple articles at http://bit.ly/1eKoLIP and http://bit.ly/1m3ZLh2 that may help you get a handle on your spending. So, just FYI. Hope it helps!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I also think you should consider spending more time with your kids than shopping. Time with them is more valuable and give yourself a spending budget every month and a realistic EBay sales goal. You need to set an example for your kids and shopping isn't the best way of doing that. Spending more quality time with them sends a better living message. Don't mean to sound harsh- just think about how this impacts your family in the long run. I agree therapy is also good to get at the root of your shopping addiction.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think that you do have an addiction to shopping. You should put your clothes up for sale as soon as you get them, then you can go out to buy more.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow. I was an eBay seller but never shopped thrift to sell. I sold my own clothes and my daughter's. Designer, barely worn, top of the line. I never made a profit like the watch!

I have a friend that does what you do except she goes to a place in Phoenix, AZ called Last Chance. It is the only store of it's kind in the US. It is all Nordstrom items and you have to be very careful. Things can be damaged and stained and you name it. She knows what sells and makes huge $ doing it. But she's not doing it daily or even weekly.

Why don't you try listing all that you have now before you buy any more. Sell it all and THEN if you must, thrift again. I agree though. Your family will give you much more satisfaction than $ from eBay or shopping at thrift stores! Kids don't stay kids long and they need you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow, I am almost in the exact same boat as you! Ebay totally feeds my addiction both to purchase things AND to get great deals so it's so hard to stop. And I'm a seller as well which also feeds my addiction because I've started thinking less about what I buy since "I can always sell it on ebay later." I've made profits from certain items as well, but mostly I lose money. Of course. Because the stuff is used. We also aren't in debt and my shopping doesn't affect my marriage or my child. I just mostly don't like it anymore! I hate tons of stuff. But I can't seem to stop just ordering "one more pair of pants" or "one more pair of dress shoes." So yea I think this is a problem. At least internally. Just because our lives aren't negatively impacted YET doesn't mean that it's not a problem. I personally feel guilty and empty when I keep ordering things or go to the mall and buy something. That alone means it's a problem. At least for me. I think you and I could really talk more to try to help each other curb this addiction. I'm new to trying to stop shopping and I know you posted this several months ago. I'm curious to know how you're doing in your situation. If you still shop a lot or if you've managed to deal with it in a way that makes you comfortable. For me, I'd love to go a full month without buying something for myself. And then if a month has gone by and I think of something I really really want, then I would feel good about getting it. Shopping a lot also goes against my personal principles and values. I hate greed. I hate tons of stuff around the house. I hate waste. And shopping too much exacerbates all those things. Those are my views.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh wow, where to start. I have always bought in excess, I just can't seem to say no. I manage to find excuses. Friends and family laugh at me and I laugh it off but deep down inside it makes me sick. I hate myself for doing it but I don't trust myself that I won't do it again. I have always been an addict. It seems if I manage to give up one addiction I just move on to something else. I was a smoker. I over ate. I always remember the fear inside with my eating problem, the feeling of being out of control and being controlled by something. The endless promises to myself to stop followed by the self loathing after I had yet again broken my word. My latest addiction is jewellery. I have a fabulous collection. It started off with reasonably priced pieces and then the price limit went up and up. I am sitting here with my latest ring on, label still on, no way I am going to send it back. I've promised myself this is the last piece It's from a shopping channel, which I have on like a screen saver. Kept telling myself I would only look. Who am I kidding. Only myself. My first step is to stop watching the channel as I simply can't be trusted. How sad is that. Makes me feel 'dirty'. I have no idea what void I am trying to fill. I think it's when I become anxious, or that is what I tell myself, but as I typed that the voice in my head said no, you just enjoy it. Same with smoking, I used to tell myself I smoked for comfort. Truth was I enjoyed it. I allowed it to be my crutch. Hate it now. Can't imagine hating jewellery though. I enjoy my life, am very independent, but seem to totally lack will power. That needs to change! Help please
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