Shopping Addiction Support Group
Oniomania (also known as shopping addiction), is the compulsive desire to shop. Similar to other compulsive behaviors, sufferers often experience the highs and lows associated with addiction. The purchase generates a mood of satisfaction, gives their life meaning, and lets them forget about their sorrows.
I know this is going to sound completely stupid... but I think I have a problem with buying makeup / cosmetics items. I don't shop for clothes or shoes or anything as much as I do makeup (mostly eyeshadow, lipstick, lipgloss, eyeliner, mascara, blush, powders). I look at all the new collections coming out online before they actually come out. I love to think about makeup, wear it, look at it, and I would talk about it if I had friends that loved it too (I don't). I read blogs in my spare time. Opening / looking at my own items makes me feel happy (doesn't have to be something new to get this effect, but I do love getting new items).
My favorite brands are MAC / Urban Decay / Sephora / Stila (essentially expensive ones...). I am weak when they have a sale or come out with limited-edition items...I'll even buy "backups" of those. I think "I'll get it now while the price is good / while it's available" and I always end up buying more than I should (I shouldn't buy any...I have so much already). Right now I have about 10 nude-toned lipsticks from MAC alone (this isn't counting other colors) and I still want the new one coming out this week...and the pink one...and the lip balm...and the two nail polishes. I don't even know why I want them so much, I just do.
I love looking, I love picking things out, I love opening it, reading about it...but I hate receiving it (I order most things online). I feel so guilty when I buy things. I was relieved when no one was home and I was able to receive my orders in secret, then hide them. (The money I spend is always mine and I don't borrow for it, but I do spend way too much...it was slow at first, but now it's almost every month...)
How exactly do you ask for help? I admit all of this guiltily because I think most people would probably look at me and go, "This is a problem? You're doing this to yourself. Just stop buying. You're an idiot. Go work at a soup kitchen so you know what REAL problems are." And I know that statement is completely right...I'm the problem, I did this to myself. I am not blaming anyone in my life for this, and I do believe I'm 100% the problem. I wish I had this interest in something that would actually do me good or make money for me or ...something. I haven't heard of anyone having this problem with makeup before.
I don't know if this is related, but here is some information about...me in general, currently.
I feel like I am a huge disappointment in every way to my parents. I have two master's degrees in a technical field (and a bachelor's degree), and I am currently looking for a job. I wouldn't say I hate the fields, but it's definitely nothing like what I actually wanted to do upon going to college (sort of chosen for me by my dad, but he knew better...I'd never make it as an artist / illustrator, and my primary interest has always been art). I have money saved up from working at the school while I was enrolled as a student. I'm grateful for having had the opportunity to go to school, although I am very sick of school...but I'll have to go for more once I have a new job secured because my three-years-younger brother is currently working on his PhD, and I feel like I'd be compared to him and...not really have a chance, if I don't get that as well (he also has a master's degree, but he's been more stable than me...no abusive relationship, nothing to worry about from my parents' perspectives). I was in an emotionally / mentally abusive relationship for about 3 years. I took an extremely long time to finish my second master's degree. My father was extremely...extreeeemely disappointed by how long it took me. My mother refers to me as "very messed up". I hate myself on so many levels and wish I could be someone else.
My favorite brands are MAC / Urban Decay / Sephora / Stila (essentially expensive ones...). I am weak when they have a sale or come out with limited-edition items...I'll even buy "backups" of those. I think "I'll get it now while the price is good / while it's available" and I always end up buying more than I should (I shouldn't buy any...I have so much already). Right now I have about 10 nude-toned lipsticks from MAC alone (this isn't counting other colors) and I still want the new one coming out this week...and the pink one...and the lip balm...and the two nail polishes. I don't even know why I want them so much, I just do.
I love looking, I love picking things out, I love opening it, reading about it...but I hate receiving it (I order most things online). I feel so guilty when I buy things. I was relieved when no one was home and I was able to receive my orders in secret, then hide them. (The money I spend is always mine and I don't borrow for it, but I do spend way too much...it was slow at first, but now it's almost every month...)
How exactly do you ask for help? I admit all of this guiltily because I think most people would probably look at me and go, "This is a problem? You're doing this to yourself. Just stop buying. You're an idiot. Go work at a soup kitchen so you know what REAL problems are." And I know that statement is completely right...I'm the problem, I did this to myself. I am not blaming anyone in my life for this, and I do believe I'm 100% the problem. I wish I had this interest in something that would actually do me good or make money for me or ...something. I haven't heard of anyone having this problem with makeup before.
I don't know if this is related, but here is some information about...me in general, currently.
I feel like I am a huge disappointment in every way to my parents. I have two master's degrees in a technical field (and a bachelor's degree), and I am currently looking for a job. I wouldn't say I hate the fields, but it's definitely nothing like what I actually wanted to do upon going to college (sort of chosen for me by my dad, but he knew better...I'd never make it as an artist / illustrator, and my primary interest has always been art). I have money saved up from working at the school while I was enrolled as a student. I'm grateful for having had the opportunity to go to school, although I am very sick of school...but I'll have to go for more once I have a new job secured because my three-years-younger brother is currently working on his PhD, and I feel like I'd be compared to him and...not really have a chance, if I don't get that as well (he also has a master's degree, but he's been more stable than me...no abusive relationship, nothing to worry about from my parents' perspectives). I was in an emotionally / mentally abusive relationship for about 3 years. I took an extremely long time to finish my second master's degree. My father was extremely...extreeeemely disappointed by how long it took me. My mother refers to me as "very messed up". I hate myself on so many levels and wish I could be someone else.
It just seems as though there's nothing positive about me at all, and I wish -so much- that I could just make my parents happy with me.
Shopping can be an addiction - a lot of people dont understand that it can be, but it can be just as addictive as many other things. For me I know my makeup addiction stems from the fact that I myself don't feel good enough in other areas of my life, so I try to put on a 'mask' to hid myself from the other people in my life. It becomes almost a distraction, seeing as you have to keep up with the makeup day to day, and you don't think as much about the other things going on in your life when you are putting on makeup.
People also always judge you first off of the way you look, many people will say they don't, but it's just human nature. Makeup (good makeup) presents us as put together and tasteful.
If you ever need to talk feel free to message me.
Peace & Love your way,
J
Yes, it's as pressing as your morning cup of coffee, trying to supress the urge feels like you're depriving yourself.
Try saving spare change and dollar bills in a jar, put a picture of something you routinely buy yourself on the jar like a label. Like, "Lipstick." Only use money from that jar for that purpose. You won't feel so guilty afterwards because you honestly saved for that lipstick, so you'll keep that one.
People say that paying in cash helps you to realize the actual physical money is leaving you. You're less likely to take from the jar since it's loose change and counting change out takes time.