Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
A few years back I was introduced to a female detective who took on my case. I never gave enough information to build an investigation. Once I turned 18 I started talking with her again because I knew I was able to choose to press charges or not. We reconnected last May. Now her and I are close and we talk alot, not only about the rapes/ abuse but other things too. And just a few days ago, we found out that we were related and never knew about it. That day she told me that her boss took my case away from her saying she was too close to me to be objective. My clothes that they took from one of the incidents were also sent in for analysis without me knowing. I guess the other detective who now has the case may be starting an investigation. I have never told anyone the full story. I've never told anyone that there were two abusers, not just one. I can't bring myself to tell anyone about the first person because that was so long ago when the two of us were young. I had problems with him back then. And for years the two of us wouldnt talk or even look at each other. But after 4 years with no abuse, we started talking again. Now I trust him. He has completely changed and I love him.. I mean how cant I? He's family. We never ever talk about what happened in the past, its like it never happened at all. The second abuser (first abuser's friend) knows about what happened between me and the other. He uses that to keep me quite and to keep me living at home where he has access to me. I'm so afraid that if the new detective on my case starts an investigation, things will go really wrong. I have told the cops who my attacker is now at this time. They dont believe me. They think its my Dad and I have told them numerous times its not but they dont believe me because they dont understand how someone else can have enough power and control over me to make me stay in this situation. They say the pieces dont fit. I wonder if they would believe me if they knew the full story. About how my 2nd abuser uses my history with my 1st abuser as a way of keeping me silent. I could tell them about what happened with my 1st abuser, but I just cant. Its like it never happened because he is so different now. I dont understand how at one point I could hate him but now I love him. I never want to bring up the past because I know it would hurt him so much. We have moved on from that. I have moved on from that and I dont know if I could re-visit that time in my life. If I talk then I bring the past back for both me and my 1st abuser and that would ruin everything, nothing would ever be the same again. But if I dont talk, Im afraid they will question my Dad.. thinking he is the one abusing me now. But I cant have that either because its NOT my Dad. He would never ever ever do that to anyone. Im so lost and confused on what to do. Im scared and worried. Maybe I should never have said anything to anyone..ever.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Remember, you didn't do the abusing. Someone else did. You didn't plan out every detail of your life, but life still happened. You may not be able to control the events that may unfold. But you CAN be the best you that you can be as they unfold.
I have a cousin that abused me when I was 6 (a girl cousin; I'm a girl too BTW.) We see each other at family events every year all of my life. We've never talked about it; I assume it takes no greater place in her mind than child's play, though in my mind, it was abuse and it rattled my brain for years and years. Still, when we see each other now (I'm 36, she's 39,) it's like nothing EVER happened. I want to keep it that way b/c to have to talk about it or bring it to light would be like being violated again and I do not want to go there.
But in your case, you may not have a choice. Be strong Emelia. And remember that you are the victim. Your hurt has creedence. You are important. Life's cards will fall where they may.
Hope this helps.