Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
My parents finally know. They took it very well -- better than I initially expected. I have to thank my therapist, Jen, so much for what she did. I couldn't have told them without her. Well, really, I didn't even have the guts to tell them... She did it all for me, and I only answered their questions afterward. But it's out, and I'm relieved. This has been inside me, lacerating everything in its wake for nearly eight months.
But, I'm afraid. I'm terrified that I'm going to be impacted by this for a long time. I can't even use tampons... It doesn't hurt, but the very sensation of it... Everytime I've tried, I've ended up laying on the bathroom floor for half an hour until the feeling that I have to puke goes away. I eventually just gave up, and I'm back to pads, now. But, what if I'm never ready? Just thinking about it right now makes my stomach churn. I can't stand it. And I'm here, reading about people who have dealt with this for so much longer than I have, and I'm thinking... Can I ever get over this?
I back out of relationships fast. When things get too deep, I panic. I can't really complain about that, now. The last thing I need is a relationship with a boy -- I sort of have a girlfriend, right now, but that's complicated. I won't get into it.
But, what happens when I actually want intimacy? Male or female? I'm sure it being with a girl would make things easier, but still.
And what about when I start to get into the whole gynecologist deal? I wouldn't be able to survive that... Oh, god no.
Will I feel like this forever? It feels like I will. Or, at least, what seems to be forever... It just... it feels like I can never let anyone touch me again.
But, I'm afraid. I'm terrified that I'm going to be impacted by this for a long time. I can't even use tampons... It doesn't hurt, but the very sensation of it... Everytime I've tried, I've ended up laying on the bathroom floor for half an hour until the feeling that I have to puke goes away. I eventually just gave up, and I'm back to pads, now. But, what if I'm never ready? Just thinking about it right now makes my stomach churn. I can't stand it. And I'm here, reading about people who have dealt with this for so much longer than I have, and I'm thinking... Can I ever get over this?
I back out of relationships fast. When things get too deep, I panic. I can't really complain about that, now. The last thing I need is a relationship with a boy -- I sort of have a girlfriend, right now, but that's complicated. I won't get into it.
But, what happens when I actually want intimacy? Male or female? I'm sure it being with a girl would make things easier, but still.
And what about when I start to get into the whole gynecologist deal? I wouldn't be able to survive that... Oh, god no.
Will I feel like this forever? It feels like I will. Or, at least, what seems to be forever... It just... it feels like I can never let anyone touch me again.
My secret about my childhood abuse was barried for about 10 years. Now it's out in the open. I am glad that you were able to tell both of your parents. I almost told my mom when I was 10. When I did finally tell her, she figured out what I was trying to say without me having to say much.
It will get better for both of us. Just believe that the day will come when we will both feel "free".