Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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PeekAhBooGirl
PeekAhBooGirl

I just graduated highschool today!! I have a friend over. I didn't have a party really and I'm going to my 2 bffs graduation tomorrow... Well my friend is a guy and he's staying the night, we were messing around and I ended up giving him a backrub.. He said my turn 


He gestured for me to lie down and I said I couldn't, I sat stiff for a moment and then sat in front of him... Some of it went away... Until he asked why I didn't lay down, most people do...


I told him I didn't wanna talk about it and got back on the bed and burritoed myself in blankets. 


I kinda like him.. But things like that I feel weird... Or when him or any guy hugs me... It was a little triggering....

Momabearx10
Momabearx10
Well I'm glad you moved from a situation you weren't comfortable in. You need some counseling in order to have healthy relationship it seems. The triggers will keep coming and you need the tools to be able to deal with those. Congrats on graduating! From my own experience I was the opposite. I found I needed sex to be able to feel loved. So I was promiscuous. And eventually dealt with things in a unhealthy manner. I don't want this for you.
PeekAhBooGirl
PeekAhBooGirl
I dont want sex to be the answer... But I seem to be annoying, poking friends or be touchy feely grabbing arms, short hugs.. Poking, poking, poking... All the time
Empatheticgirl
Empatheticgirl
Graduating is a big accomplishment, congrats! It's okay if you're uncomfortable with things others seem usually comfortable with. And it's okay to not let people go past your boundaries. Abuse is hard to deal with and you are not at fault. And you definitely aren't bad for having any kind of boundaries. If you're not ready, you're not ready and no one gets to tell you that you are. I would find some counciling to help you through this time. You deserve to get better and move on.
PeekAhBooGirl
PeekAhBooGirl
But what do I say, when someone asks why I don't lie down to get my back rubbed or do something else that isn't normal. He asked me that, and I had no clue what to answer. I almost started crying.
cwillis495
cwillis495
Sometimes I say something like "I prefer sitting like this", or "I don't feel like laying down right now",.. you don't owe anyone an explanation unless you want to and feel comfortable talking about it, and sometimes having a simple/"less is more" kind of answer can help- I'll tell my friends that I'm not always in the mood for a hug, so we have a funny code thing to decide if we'll hug or not too.
Empatheticgirl
Empatheticgirl
I agree with cwillis495. You can leave it at "because this is what I want" and you dont owe anyone an explanation. If someone truly cares about you they will respect your boundaries.