Great post Suz! You already have a good list going there.

Loving me is about
- feeling comfortable, safe, and beautiful in my own skin
- coming home to an empty apartment and creating warmth, love, and joy all by myself
- encouraging and empowering myself to be all that I can and want to be
- supporting and caring for myself emotionally, physically, financially and mentally
- being gentle with myself even if I make a mistake
- loving others and encouraging their self-love

Loving myself is being kind and gentle to myself. Accepting all the junk that bubbles out of my spirit as true and worthy. Believing my feelings, and trusting my gut. Not trying to change a thing about myself just to please someone else. The changes I strive for are to please myself.

being kind to yourself
respecting yourself
not insulting yourself or hurting yourself in other ways such as self-sabotage
forgiving yourself
accepting yourself, flaws and all
not letting others disrespect you or hurt you
not needing others to make you feel whole or worthy

Until recently, I wouldn't have known how to answer this question. I could tell you what "hating myself" looked like. I was a master at that!

Loving myself is a new concept and I'll admit ... I'm still defining what this means to me. I hope finding new ways to support myself and "love" myself will be a life long journey, filled with new discoveries, wisdom and excitement.

For now, loving myself, is represented by:
- Turning off that negative inner voice.
- Having patience, with myself and others.
- Enjoying the moment, regardless of what's going on around me.
- Dreaming about my future and not limiting those dreams.
- Laughing more.
- Loving others.
- Showing and sharing emotion.
- Drinking less and eating healthier
- Exercising
- Breathing deeply
- Yoga
- Meditation
- Most importantly ... having hope. Hope for my future.

SoulBird8 you are wise beyond your years. Your list is great; I especially felt drawn to "coming home to an empty apartment and creating warmth, love, and joy all by myself. How powerful!

mytruth, I've followed your posts and know that you are deep into your healing. I see that the "changes /you/ strive for are to please /yourself/" I'm glad to see that you realize the most important relationship we'll ever have is with ourselves.

sonyas77 Isn't it grand not to need others to make us feel whole or worthy. What a powerful and peaceful place to be. I am happy for you (and for myself, too.)

SeekingStrength, I had to lol when I read your first paragraph; I too, could have made a huge list of the ways I hated myself. I laugh with joy because it's evident you have turned the corner; you are on the road to thriving. Celebrate.

I hope more survivors add their thoughts and ways to express self-love. It's a great gift of hope and possibility that you'll hear when you are ready to hear it. It's a clear message that there is another level of healing beyond surviving.

xx

It would look as if I was treating myself the same way I would treat my favorite lover or my best friend.

Here is a slight revision of words I have written before:

I have to love myself as I love my sick child even after she has just puked on my favorite sweater. Be that kind. Be that gentle. That loving. To myself. All the time.

Crusty thanks for more hope delivered.
mytruth, how appropriate! How wonderful.

Good post...

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak. Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.

Moozikos, what a great quote. May I use it?

alepunkie - thanks. This whole group is awesome.

at 8:40am, loving myself means choosing Life over Death.

(no explanation)

it is what it is.

I say keep choosing life, iamjoey, and when you feel tempted to do otherwise know that you have conceded to your perpetrator saying, "I give up, you have won.

That too, is what it is.

Loving myself means that I accept what I had to do to survive, and even admire the strength in the child I was to find ways to survive. Loving myself means accepting me now for exactly who and what I am, faults and all. Loving myself means looking at my strengths and respecting them, and looking at my weaknesses and accepting them. Loving myself means not expecting myself to be perfect in any way. Loving myself means accepting the past and the me I am today. Loving myself means forgiving myself for what I had to do to survive to become the me I am now. Loving myself means accepting every part of me.