Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
a young child says something and you think it could mean something?
wow, that made sense.....thing is, i was hangin with a friend, and he has a little sister, Amy. and she had her friend over. and Amy asked me what it means when someone has sex, and i said "It means they are in love." and this little boy looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said, "My brother is in love with me then" HOLY FLYING SHIT! ! what do i do???? i was abused as a child, and i know how much i wanted someone to save me. but what if it means nothing? who do i talk to? do i talk to the brother, his parents, the police??? my parents?? what should i do. and i need help fast, cuz i have to babysit this boy soon ( i offered to babysit when i heard him say it)......wtf do i do?? im freaking out. this poor boy. and he is no more the 7. and his brother is my age, 16. please help me
wow, that made sense.....thing is, i was hangin with a friend, and he has a little sister, Amy. and she had her friend over. and Amy asked me what it means when someone has sex, and i said "It means they are in love." and this little boy looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said, "My brother is in love with me then" HOLY FLYING SHIT! ! what do i do???? i was abused as a child, and i know how much i wanted someone to save me. but what if it means nothing? who do i talk to? do i talk to the brother, his parents, the police??? my parents?? what should i do. and i need help fast, cuz i have to babysit this boy soon ( i offered to babysit when i heard him say it)......wtf do i do?? im freaking out. this poor boy. and he is no more the 7. and his brother is my age, 16. please help me
Also, when you talk to the kid, try to be as calm and matter-of-fact as you can. You can just ask, CALMLY in a normal voice, "What do you mean by that?" And then just listen. You can ask him, "How did you feel about that?" Try to get as much information as possible, without sounding alarmed or on edge. Don't press him beyond what he volunteers. If he tells you something scary or if he gets upset, you can tell him, "I hear what you're saying and I'm sorry that happened. It should not have happened, and it wasn't your fault. I want you to know you're safe with me and you can tell me what happened if you want to talk about it." You can also ask him about the last time it happened and who he has already told. Perhaps his parents know?
Thing is - kids sometimes have strange ideas of sex - he may not know what sex is. There may be no abuse happening - keep that in mind. BUT it's AWESOME that you are on the lookout and willing to help. That's fantastic and I applaud your careful observation.
I think it's most important that you're calm and don't alarm him. That can make him think that you're mad or repulsed by him, which is exactly what you don't want. Hold your freak out until LATER when he can't see it! (Because it's awful to have to hear about abuse from children - and you're entirely entitled to a freak out).
But call the hotline. It's hard to give advice about who to talk to because I'm not sure who is safe in this situation. You're going to have to trust your judgement about who is safe to talk to.
But, again, GOOD FOR YOU for being willing to help a child who needs it. The world needs more people like you.
I would have shit a brick if that kid told me that! I would have been running around in a panick, trying to find ways to help that kid.
I hope you help him!
I'd suggest talking with Social Services, a child helpline or the Police.
At my job, we are constantly reminded NOTTT to press child for answers. We are NOTTT to do our own investigations. We are not to ask them questions. We are not even allowed to lift a shirt when we suspect physical abuse. At 16, I would leave it to the adults. Be supportive-listen but add or ask nothing. I would not mention this to his parents. They are put into a postition of believing one child or protecting the other. Chances are they will figuratively throw the victim under the bus to protect the perpetrator. Denial is a crazy drug.