Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
It is almost 12am where I live. I live in a nice area of a USA city. My area is typically quiet and the neighbors are for the most part pleasant. The houses are small and very close to each other so noise is something most neighbors try to keep down. That is, except the neighbors I have in the house behind mine. For a few years I have been enduring and dealing with a bunch of entitle young kids that live in that house and seem to get pleasure out of picking up on people. It feels really bad, especially in a night like tonight when I need to sleep and they have a party going.
I know that I am a survivor of abuse, have ocd and PTSD, but I am intelligent and sane enough to know when some people are in fact attacking me, and I think they are. Every day they seem to attempt to do something to make me feel uncomfortable in my own house. They start playing with lights on my window, play drums all evening, and when I have my window open they send smoke to my room, and now they are having a party right by my window. They are very inconsiderate. I feel like I am doing the right thing by just ignoring them. Tonight I find it very difficult, though since I can't sleep and they are certainly not helping.
I don't know for sure what to do if they continue escalating in their aggressiveness. They seem to want to start something and I am very afraid of dealing with them. The only time I said something was when I found a lot of cigarette butts in my yard and I asked them nicely not to throw them in my yard. They stopped, but since then they seem to want to start looking for some kind of problem and want to make my life a living hell.
I know that neighbor disputes can and have even ended up in court, and in some cases there have been deaths. I certainly have no interest in anything other than living in the home that took me so much work to find and earn. This is the first time I have lived in one stable place for years without moving. It has been hard for me to bring some stability in my life, so the last thing that I'd like to have is people who want to make me feel like unwanted in my own home.
This brings a lot of my issues with anxiety, being bullied and abused. It brings back the memories of powerlessness and the dreadful feeling of helplessness that I as an abuse survivor know all too well.
I guess I just have to remind myself that I am in no way, shape or form responsible for the choice that those idiots make of being bad neighbors. That doesn't help me sleep, but makes me feel better. I find solace in the fact that I know that I am not helpless, and that I am in fact doing what an honorable person does. Also I know that I am definitely not the only neighbor they are hurting. The entire block hears them. This isn't happening because I deserve such disrespect. I only hope that it stops at some point. It has been years of me enduring their stupid and pathetic attempts at having me try to respond to their noise.
I don't know what kind of support I need for this. It helps me posting about this, instead of acting it out in unhealthy ways.
Does anyone confront situations that resemble abuse and bring these dreadful feelings of helplessness?
I know that I am a survivor of abuse, have ocd and PTSD, but I am intelligent and sane enough to know when some people are in fact attacking me, and I think they are. Every day they seem to attempt to do something to make me feel uncomfortable in my own house. They start playing with lights on my window, play drums all evening, and when I have my window open they send smoke to my room, and now they are having a party right by my window. They are very inconsiderate. I feel like I am doing the right thing by just ignoring them. Tonight I find it very difficult, though since I can't sleep and they are certainly not helping.
I don't know for sure what to do if they continue escalating in their aggressiveness. They seem to want to start something and I am very afraid of dealing with them. The only time I said something was when I found a lot of cigarette butts in my yard and I asked them nicely not to throw them in my yard. They stopped, but since then they seem to want to start looking for some kind of problem and want to make my life a living hell.
I know that neighbor disputes can and have even ended up in court, and in some cases there have been deaths. I certainly have no interest in anything other than living in the home that took me so much work to find and earn. This is the first time I have lived in one stable place for years without moving. It has been hard for me to bring some stability in my life, so the last thing that I'd like to have is people who want to make me feel like unwanted in my own home.
This brings a lot of my issues with anxiety, being bullied and abused. It brings back the memories of powerlessness and the dreadful feeling of helplessness that I as an abuse survivor know all too well.
I guess I just have to remind myself that I am in no way, shape or form responsible for the choice that those idiots make of being bad neighbors. That doesn't help me sleep, but makes me feel better. I find solace in the fact that I know that I am not helpless, and that I am in fact doing what an honorable person does. Also I know that I am definitely not the only neighbor they are hurting. The entire block hears them. This isn't happening because I deserve such disrespect. I only hope that it stops at some point. It has been years of me enduring their stupid and pathetic attempts at having me try to respond to their noise.
I don't know what kind of support I need for this. It helps me posting about this, instead of acting it out in unhealthy ways.
Does anyone confront situations that resemble abuse and bring these dreadful feelings of helplessness?
And being who I am, were it me I would like to definitively stop the situation...that being my general choice in matters.
If it's a one-story house this would be much cheaper to do, and I am hoping your homowner's association will allow it: have a wall built.
Use brick facade over cinderblocks with some sort of soundproofing fill put inside in the cinderblocks.
Or use earthbag construction, again with brick facade.
At worst, at least a privacy fence, and yes, I have seen a 2-story privacy fence.
Otherwise, you're going to have to buy cameras(so that you can make sure they aren't doing anything to your house) and then start calling the cops.
I'd rather put up a fence or a wall. It's a whole lot easier than picking a fight.
Let them know you have PTSD, and by them being loud its making you upset. If they are good people they will understand. If not go to your other neighbors,around you and ask them to write letters, or basicly just work together with them. See what happens when you talk to them on a personal basis, after that then take other action.
They seem like cocky young adults, so I'm not sure the "brownie" approach can help with them (I see a lot of used beer bottles in their garbage, and no I don't go looking, it's easily visible from my window), so I have the feeling that there is another layer to their aggressiveness. I wouldn't be surprised if they are active drug users. I am very afraid of approaching them trying to talk to them peacefully. I'm not discarding the idea, though since I do not feel confident about what is the right course of action from my part.
Anyway, they went up to about 3am with their loudness. Very inconsiderate from their part.
I appreciate your support greatly. It really means a lot to me.
If they've already responded by getting louder and ruder to a polite request to not have butts thrown in your yard, then basically they will do what they want to do...or rather they do what they can't help doing. Self-control may simply not be the house specialty if it's where the dealer lives. He does not want to annoy his customer/friends.
If the smells are of incense and something that smells rather musky and dank, like burnt peanut butter, then you have less to worry about than if there's a cat pee smell and you see them taking containers of strange chemicals into the house.
Actually, maybe the brownie approach would work if it's the former...and you wait until after they've all gotten thoroughly stoned. Better take a lot though.
This is the first time that they do something illegal with the noise, so I have the feeling that though I hate them, I might be doing something right by not letting it escalate.
If they make noise again after hours I will call the cops. As for the rest I think I am at war against engaging with them.
Anyway, thank you so much for your support.
BTW, I already started researching about architectural measures. That's an excellent idea. Maybe a wall might not be feasible but there might be other similar alternatives.
I'm sorry, but I'm a fighter, and I've had really bad neighbors. I don't put with crap.
And yes, if you can put up a fence or wall, that might be a good first step
Is there some kind of noise level law in your particular state, you should look into that and should be able to exercise it in a confidential manner.
And, I love the way you describe your diagnosis' and your claim of being intelligent and sane. You are right, you are intelligent and sane, the medical issue's you have are because of some sick and ignorant person's abusive act on you. I have had to remind my own family member's that I am not retarted, postal or deranged an any manner.
You are too a survivor......................