Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
At my age I feel that I should be able to understand my own feelings and behaviours but I dont. Especially where men are concerned.
I have spent a large part of my life being sexually abused and raped by family members, friends of the family whom I have trusted.
I am now strong enough to have broken free of abusive relationships which I am proud of. However, I have been single for some time and would love nothing more than to have a loving relationship with a man I love and trust. This is where the problem seems to be.
I find I get into relationships where the man thinks I am wonderful and wants to love me and for a while I like him (sometimes think I love him)and all is good. Then everything changes. I suddenly really don't want him anywhere near me, think he's using me and start to hate him and want to run away and finish the relationship.
Am I just weird or is it as a result of my abuse? Does anyone else go through this? Can I get passed it?
I have spent a large part of my life being sexually abused and raped by family members, friends of the family whom I have trusted.
I am now strong enough to have broken free of abusive relationships which I am proud of. However, I have been single for some time and would love nothing more than to have a loving relationship with a man I love and trust. This is where the problem seems to be.
I find I get into relationships where the man thinks I am wonderful and wants to love me and for a while I like him (sometimes think I love him)and all is good. Then everything changes. I suddenly really don't want him anywhere near me, think he's using me and start to hate him and want to run away and finish the relationship.
Am I just weird or is it as a result of my abuse? Does anyone else go through this? Can I get passed it?
It takes some work though. When were abused it creates alot of mixed emotions about situations especially relationships.
I find therapy, reading, talking to friends really helps me in this area.
We need to deal with the abuse first though.
I wish you all the best, to love and happiness. You deserve it and you can achieve it :D
I feel like I am in a similar situation to you. Ive just come out of two long dysfuntional relationships and want to remain single until I resolve my issues that contributed to the bad stuff in my relationships. I also have major trust issues due to my last ex cheating, lying and deceiving me.
I think whats happening is definately related to your abuse. You are used to being mistreated and you think that will keep happening to you. Im not sure how to fix this. I think you just have to take things slow and learn to regain trust in people.
Personally I want to be good friends with the guy and know him well before I get into an emotional and intimate relationship with them.
I hope we can both overcome these feelings so that we can feel happy and safe in a relationship one day. take care
It also stops me from thinking I am just going mad too - which really is great! I have spent sooo much time thinking that as I can not explain my reactions to myself or anyone else it must mean I'm just a crazy lady.
I think your right. It is probably a good idea to leave relationships until we first find a solid friendship before we take it to a more intimate level. At least then we can at least let the other know what our fears are and how we react in this situation. Until then I am going to try to disect passed relationships to see if i can get an idea of the triggers that made and make me feel this way.
Good luck with yours too. :)
Big hug!!