You can talk about it here. No one will judge you. Of if you want to talk you can PM me. I have a good ear.

Scott

Have you heard of fight or flight? It's you body's response to danger.An instinct of sorts.When your feel threatened you run or fight,but many people don't know there is a third,freeze.You can't fight or run you freeze.That is what my daughter experienced,almost like being paralized.You are in shock and can't do anything.I don't know your age but have you told your parents? Maybe a school counselor,clergy,ECT.We are here for you and we believe you.

We do believe you. You just being here we believe you. Here you can share as much or as little as you want to. We are here to listen..
I totally understand the self blaming.. it took me many years to blame the people who hurt me and not myself.. I thought the abuse I went through was my punishment for letting it happen, even though there was no way of stopping it.

When you do want to share, please say “trigger alert” or something like that... it’s like a heads up for those who are still struggling with their past/present...
the rest of us, will be ok.

You are totally welcome to message myself, or 2magicman.. or just posting on here, write a journal....

We do believe you.. you’re not alone in this..

Notalone00

Abuse is so hard to deal with, any abuse. I feel your pain in your post. Please know you are heard and empathized with. I found hope and healing in forgiving my abuser. Not because he needed or deserved forgiveness, but because I was held in the prison of that event until I was able to release my offender. It freed me. I hope you can find a way to release the abuse, to release the emotions of that event and begin to find healing in the days and weeks to come. Get strength from others who have been in similar experiences, do you have a place where you could join a support group or perhaps a counseling appointment to help to process it all would be helpful. Praying for you!

Like It was mentioned the Fight, Flight, Freeze things helped me a lot. I hadn't heard about the Freeze one until last year when I read an article about it. And I, like you, carried a lot of shame because I always thought there was more I could have done. But knowing that there is a physiological response that literally makes you freeze in these types of situations helped me get rid of some of that shame. I've had two different experiences, I was molested as a child, and this is where I found a lot of shame because I didn't do anything and later, a few years ago, I was raped when I was unconscious. But even with that second one, I still felt shame which is ridiculous if you think of it. How is it at all my fault? but what I'm trying to get at is, no matter the situation, I think shame comes along with these type of offence, which is too bad because it really does hinder 'healing'.
I'm sorry to hear about what your friend is saying. I know you must hear it lots but maybe it's time you get new friends. I got told that lots too about a certain friend. In the back of my head, I understood that people were right, but I had some weird loyalty towards this friend that treated me poorly. But now she's out of my life, and I can clearly see it was the right decision.
Either way, this group is very helpful. I found it like 8-9 years ago when I started struggling and I have been on here on and off since. I've found it super helpful to vent with people who understand while still being anonymous and I used this a lot until I was ready to tell people about my struggles. I hope things get better for you.

Writing about it is a step in the right direction. I know that journaling helps me a lot. It doesn't sound stupid at all that it was hard to write about since bringing those memories back up was probably painful. I'm sorry to hear that your friend betrayed you when you confided in her. That must have been difficult for you, but it is important to find someone that you can trust to talk to. It doesn't even matter if nobody believes you as long as you know you are telling the truth and you find someone who will listen and keep your story confidential. Perhaps you could make an appointment with the pastor of a local church or a nearby christian counselor could help. It's important to have support during a time like this. Keep reaching out and I'll be praying for you.