Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Well, it's been a while since I was here, been very caught up in my pregnancy. Since I last was here I have done my video interview with the police and was proud of myself for how candidly I spoke. I went through a few moments of self doubt, questioning whether my memories were real, then realised I have no reason to make them up, and the fact that the sick freak actually admitted to key points of it consolidated what I already knew. This week the police finally made contact with him and asked him to make an appointment to see them.
Now my fear was that I would lose my mother as a result of this, that she would disown me, hate me and ultimately cut me out of her life. Well, the police made contact on Thursday lunchtime and on Thursday evening my mother text me, and didn't mention anything, She had a normal conversation with me. But she didn't tell me she loved me. That may seem trivial, but she ALWAYS tells me she loves me. Today, she was meant to come round to see me and my daughter, who is 16 months old and dotes on her Nana. But she messaged me to say she felt too ill and wouldn't be coming.
I called my Uncle who has been massively supportive through all of this and he has told me that he had a summons to my grandparents' last night to find out what was going on. He told them nothing, but it is clear that it is common family knowledge what has happened....and yet no one has spoken to me. Apart from my Uncle, I seem to have been completely cut off from my whole family now. I have no support from them at all and it is ME that is going through the difficult time. It is going to seem harsh, but my mother is nothing in this. Yes it is horrible for her, but she is just collateral damage in the grand scheme of things. She chose to stay with the freak when I told her what happened to me, she chose to believe his lies. I didn't choose ANY of this. And now I have nothing. Yes I have my daughter, but she is far too young to offer any kind of support and I wouldn't want her to. Yes I have my husband, but he works nights and is only available to me three days out of every nine. Yes I have my mother in law.....but I don't really want her...I don't want anybody else's mother. I want mine.
I don't know what I am hoping to achieve from this, I think I was just wanting a rant and a vent with people that aren't being painfully diplomatic or sitting so firmly on the fence they end up with splinters in their stomach.
Now my fear was that I would lose my mother as a result of this, that she would disown me, hate me and ultimately cut me out of her life. Well, the police made contact on Thursday lunchtime and on Thursday evening my mother text me, and didn't mention anything, She had a normal conversation with me. But she didn't tell me she loved me. That may seem trivial, but she ALWAYS tells me she loves me. Today, she was meant to come round to see me and my daughter, who is 16 months old and dotes on her Nana. But she messaged me to say she felt too ill and wouldn't be coming.
I called my Uncle who has been massively supportive through all of this and he has told me that he had a summons to my grandparents' last night to find out what was going on. He told them nothing, but it is clear that it is common family knowledge what has happened....and yet no one has spoken to me. Apart from my Uncle, I seem to have been completely cut off from my whole family now. I have no support from them at all and it is ME that is going through the difficult time. It is going to seem harsh, but my mother is nothing in this. Yes it is horrible for her, but she is just collateral damage in the grand scheme of things. She chose to stay with the freak when I told her what happened to me, she chose to believe his lies. I didn't choose ANY of this. And now I have nothing. Yes I have my daughter, but she is far too young to offer any kind of support and I wouldn't want her to. Yes I have my husband, but he works nights and is only available to me three days out of every nine. Yes I have my mother in law.....but I don't really want her...I don't want anybody else's mother. I want mine.
I don't know what I am hoping to achieve from this, I think I was just wanting a rant and a vent with people that aren't being painfully diplomatic or sitting so firmly on the fence they end up with splinters in their stomach.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
https://www.victimsupport.org.uk
Glad you have a Uncle on your side, if possible see a counsellor/therapist also. They can also help you through the process in a more controlled manner, plus the more support the better.
Keep us all posted and lean on here when you need too.
Keep being True to that Inner Child in You !! :)
Blaine
"It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim ask the bystander to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering. (A tendency to render the victim invisible; to look the other way.)"
But Judith Herman says the community must recognize the trauma and act: "Once it is publicly recognized that person has been harmed, the community must take action to assign responsibility for the harm and to repair the injury. Recognition and restitution are necessary to rebuild the survivor's sense of order and justice."
Thank you for standing up for all of us. I may never be able to go public and I appreciate your sacrifice in doing so.