Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I do not know If I am in the right place or even what to think of what has happened. I am just so lost.
I well start from the start.
We moved back in Dec, and this spring the neighbour kids started to come over and play with our 5 year old son. ( the main kid is 9 and is right next door) As time passed we started to let him out to play on his own. ( we knew he would not go on the road)
Yesterday, the boys where playing with the wagon and they went behind the shed.. after a little bit (I have no concept of time. Its a big problem of mine) I thought this is too long. So yelled out the window and said is the wagon stuck do you guys need help. No I got told.. still thought this was odd so out I went. I called to them agin and my son came out. adjusting his pants.. Than the older boy 9 came out. ( it was just the 2 of them) I asked them what they where doing when my son said that the older boy was pulling him in the wagon. Than my son pulled up his shirt and did up the button on his pants. I asked him why he had to do is pants back up and he told me he did not know.. I did not like this at all. I know my husband and the my boys ( I have a 2 year old as well) do pee behind the shed, but something was off. So I got my son to come inside. I did try to talk to him with no success. He just got up set.
Why my husband came he tried and go nothing. well later that night when I had gone to get ice cream my son told my husband ( his Dad) that the older boy licked his penis, and wanted Austin to do it back to him.. Ya lets just say he is not playing with the neighbour kids anymore.. Later that night my son told my husband that he did it back and did not like it. Great.
My son is 5 he does not know about anything like this. We are un sure if he is making it up, but we doubt it. ( just the other day he lied to us telling us this boy broke something that was in the house.. The boys have never been in the others house Always out side)
My husband has come right undone. He has called child services and they said this kind of thing happens all the time that they would not even do a file. Not sure how to feel about this. Ya ok if it was 2, 5 year olds, but this kid is 9 our kid is 5. ( do want to add we did from the start think it was odd that the kids wanted to play with a 5 year old. I do kinda know the kid form a place I worked at. I had met him before we moved in. seemed like a nice boy, and we watched them for so long be for we let our son out alone.. ugh so lost)
We are going to go talk to our Dr as soon as we can. My husband is going to go talk to the boys parents.
My husband is thinking he is over racing and I am feeling like I am under reacting. I am just so lost. I am un sure of what to make of the hole thing. Of what to do or what not to do.
My son won't talk to me, and dose not know my husband told me. A few weeks ago he did have a sore penis , with discharge and the dr at the walk in said it was a unary track infection. My husband is now so up set wondering if something more happen and wants to get him teased. I want my son to talk to someone . Someone that knows how to ask the right things to find out what really happen. Thats what I want out of the visit to the Dr.
I just do not know what to make of it all. My son seems to be normal at this point. ugh what to do how to feel. I just so un sure of everything right now. I am glad to have my husband. there is no way I could just go talk to the other boys parents. what I would say or do. We have to live next to the people for the rest of our lives. We can not move and we love this house and the area. I grew up here. They have 5 kids. ( good thing is that I got my boys into a different school than my neighbours kids go to) I so do not want a neighbour war or fight but this is my son we are talking about. I am fine with just not letting the boys play together. ugh
So many things running though my head wish it would all just stop.
I well start from the start.
We moved back in Dec, and this spring the neighbour kids started to come over and play with our 5 year old son. ( the main kid is 9 and is right next door) As time passed we started to let him out to play on his own. ( we knew he would not go on the road)
Yesterday, the boys where playing with the wagon and they went behind the shed.. after a little bit (I have no concept of time. Its a big problem of mine) I thought this is too long. So yelled out the window and said is the wagon stuck do you guys need help. No I got told.. still thought this was odd so out I went. I called to them agin and my son came out. adjusting his pants.. Than the older boy 9 came out. ( it was just the 2 of them) I asked them what they where doing when my son said that the older boy was pulling him in the wagon. Than my son pulled up his shirt and did up the button on his pants. I asked him why he had to do is pants back up and he told me he did not know.. I did not like this at all. I know my husband and the my boys ( I have a 2 year old as well) do pee behind the shed, but something was off. So I got my son to come inside. I did try to talk to him with no success. He just got up set.
Why my husband came he tried and go nothing. well later that night when I had gone to get ice cream my son told my husband ( his Dad) that the older boy licked his penis, and wanted Austin to do it back to him.. Ya lets just say he is not playing with the neighbour kids anymore.. Later that night my son told my husband that he did it back and did not like it. Great.
My son is 5 he does not know about anything like this. We are un sure if he is making it up, but we doubt it. ( just the other day he lied to us telling us this boy broke something that was in the house.. The boys have never been in the others house Always out side)
My husband has come right undone. He has called child services and they said this kind of thing happens all the time that they would not even do a file. Not sure how to feel about this. Ya ok if it was 2, 5 year olds, but this kid is 9 our kid is 5. ( do want to add we did from the start think it was odd that the kids wanted to play with a 5 year old. I do kinda know the kid form a place I worked at. I had met him before we moved in. seemed like a nice boy, and we watched them for so long be for we let our son out alone.. ugh so lost)
We are going to go talk to our Dr as soon as we can. My husband is going to go talk to the boys parents.
My husband is thinking he is over racing and I am feeling like I am under reacting. I am just so lost. I am un sure of what to make of the hole thing. Of what to do or what not to do.
My son won't talk to me, and dose not know my husband told me. A few weeks ago he did have a sore penis , with discharge and the dr at the walk in said it was a unary track infection. My husband is now so up set wondering if something more happen and wants to get him teased. I want my son to talk to someone . Someone that knows how to ask the right things to find out what really happen. Thats what I want out of the visit to the Dr.
I just do not know what to make of it all. My son seems to be normal at this point. ugh what to do how to feel. I just so un sure of everything right now. I am glad to have my husband. there is no way I could just go talk to the other boys parents. what I would say or do. We have to live next to the people for the rest of our lives. We can not move and we love this house and the area. I grew up here. They have 5 kids. ( good thing is that I got my boys into a different school than my neighbours kids go to) I so do not want a neighbour war or fight but this is my son we are talking about. I am fine with just not letting the boys play together. ugh
So many things running though my head wish it would all just stop.
There is another group here for parents of sexually abused children. They may also help you through this. Here is the link http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/parents-whose-children-have-been-sexually-abused
My feeling, and from what my therapist has taught me, is that kids do not make this stuff up. They don't understand enough about sexuality and/or sexual acts are to be able to make it up. You son does know that if he breaks something he will get in trouble. So for a 5 year old to blame someone else makes sense. For him to blame the same child who has hurt him makes even more sense. He is blaming him for something your son understands IS wrong...breaking something. My feeling is that your son IS telling you that this boy hurt him and made him do things he didn't want to. This is his way of making sense of it. (not quite sure if I wrote that to help you make sense of it though..)
Please get him to a therapist of some sort. This is a serious situation and I am glad you husband is being proactive in contacting the boys parents. Sadly...this boy is likely doing this with your son because HE is being or has been sexual abused too. And it may be his parents doing it.
Shame on child services for ignoring this! We see it all too often here in the US too.
I do hope you find your son the help he needs so he can heal this early and learn what happened to him was wrong.
Take care