Wow! You sound like your not being very kind and loving to yourself. You wrote about the things you stopped doing so now what positive things are you doing to start doing? I wish you would return to counseling for the simple reason that it help me. I always enjoyed unloading to the therapist and just getting up walking out of the room. The MEDS do help but some make your head swim you could try a different drug. I'm just trying to say than there are people out here that have never met you but still care about you.

Wow! Your post made me wanna cry and that's something for me. I really felt your pain, I'm so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time right now. I wish there was something I could do to help you, but all I can do is offer my support. I totally understand where you are coming from, because I'm at the point where you are at right now. I feel the same exact way, I want to rebel too. I want to say fuck the medications, fuck seeing the Therapist and going to group therapy and trying not to cut. But you know what? That would be the wrong thing to do, once you stop trying; then you don't have anything to go on for. You got to keep trying, you have to keep taking your medications, seeing your Therapist and just keep going on. If not for yourself, for the people who care about you. I don't even know you, but I care about you. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. Just message me anytime.

Crimson, I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. I do hope you will find the strength to fight these demons. You will only heal if you go to therapy and take your meds, if the med you are on is not the right one then have you doctor try something else.

We care about you and we want the best for you! Your worth saving so pull yourself up and do it my friend.

With love!

Please do not take this the wrong way, but it sounds as if you are trying to be tougher than you really are. I only say that because I've been there so many times myself. I don't need anyone I can deal with this myself...only I found out I really couldn't. i am glad you feel comfortable enough to express yourself at DS and only hope you can find a therapist who you feel as safe and comfortable with. Please be kind to yourself and hang in there. We care about you and want to see you succeed.

You know, maybe you skipped counseling for a good reason. Did you like your counselor? I have had some pretty bad ones. It's really just paid friendship and just like friendship, it can be toxic. Maybe you have great instincts and skipped for that reason.

I sure feel the urge to cut sometimes. Can't say I blame you there. Does it make you feel better afterwards? I constantly do things that keep me feeling shame. I'm breaking those habits one by one. It hasn't been easy for you to get to this point, I'm sure. Just remember that you know what is best for you and nobody can tell you different.

I hope you do not go any further though. We need more people like you in the world. People who can admit what happened.

Crimson Tears I have seen some of the helpful and insightful posts and advice you have put on this discussion board, I hope you change your mind and aleast start going back to therapy if not taking your meds - sometimes a break from counselling is good for us to find our own feet and pin where we are, just as long as it's not a hinderance stopping. Best of luck to you

i went through a period like this...my advice make sure you go back...youll never get better.....

thank you all. i might go back next week. idk but im not taking those pills. i like controling my mind.

Crimson, I hope you do go next week and if you don't think the meds are right then by all means don't take them. But, becareful, just stop taking things thats not good either.

With love! I truly hope you get some relief from your emotional pain this weekend! Hugs to you!!

I am so sorry you feel that way. I hear a lot of pain there. I hope that if you can't talk to your counselor, you find someone to talk too.