I'm so sorry you have to go through all this tigerlily. Above all else, you have to decide which decision you can live with for the rest of your life. Will you be filled with regret if you let your step father walk away and have the chance to abuse another girl? Will you regret "betraying" your family?

Either way, you have to decide what will make you happier. If you don't testify, your family could still leave you and blame you for tearing the family apart. And if they don't support you, are they really a family worth being around anyways? I hope you can find a positive environment to be in soon.

((Hugs))

Tigerlily18,

There is only one person who can make such a decision--you.

There will be more decisions in life that will feel like you're "between a rock and a hard place" so it's important that you consider the consequences of any action you take. Take a mental walk around the issue of testifying or not and ask yourself some questions.

-----if your family leaves what will happen?
-----can you live without your family?
-----do you have another support system in place?
-----there are no guarantees that your stepfather won't abuse again, how do you feel about that if he goes free?
-----how would it be for you if you don't testify and your family shuns you anyway, as christie23 suggested?
-----what are the consequences for the family if the stepfather goes to jail?
-----can you live with yourself if the stepfather goes free and goes on to abuse again?
-----would you be betraying yourself if you don't testify?

Some decisions we make might also be based on whether or not the ultimate decision is, "for the good of all." What would be "for the good of all" in your case?

((Hugs))
SuzA

Like the others I can't make that desition for you. But I will say this. There has not been a day that's gone by that i wish I had my day or days in court to tell my story on how terrifying and pain my abductor put me through. I'm so sorry about what your going through. Keep your head up.

( Hope To Cope ) Scott

it is, ultimately, up to you. but if you don't do it, you might be left feeling like you did nothing to stop this person the rest of your life. my ex testified multiple times against guys in a child pornography/sexual abuse ring. in the end, it ended up causing a lot of personal issues for him, but it did help put a lot of those guys away and stop them from every hurting any other kids. you have to weigh pro and con it, decide what's most important here and what you think will bring YOU the most peace of mind.

Like everyone says, Tiger, It IS all up to you and your decision. You just have to remember to be true to yourself. My father is deceased now and I so regret that I did not have him prosecuted. Back then, that kind of thing you would have never thought of doing. You can't ever go back and you have to live with the decision that you make. Are you going to be comfortable, knowing that he got away with it and the harm that he did mentally and physically to you? I am so sorry, that at this young age, that you have to deal with something like this and that your family is not standing behind you. Mine didn't either and that is a hard thing to deal with, BUT, life does go on. ((((HUGS)))) your way.

only you can make that decision. for me I'm not testifying because my mother doesn't want me to and it would destroy hers and my sisters life

I can't decide for you, but personally I would testify. What he did was wrong. Your family is wrong for supporting a rapist. There are better people out there than child sex abuse supporters. He will only rape more children.

I realize this is an older post (March 13) and wondering what decision you made and how things have worked out for you? Hugs from someone who only wishes he could turn back time and have the opportunity to have been able to make that choice.