it's not being selfish. your body is trying to cope with what happened. your mind is raw, you feelings are raw...everything is sensitive to you right now, and that's okay.

you're free to post what/how you feel without the fear of someone thinking you're selfish. all of us here "talk" about our feelings. you have no reason to fear judgement, cuz we're not here to judge.

we're to help by listening and being here (or there) for each other.

i, too, feel selfish at times...for the same (and also different) reasons. i'm sure there are a lot of us that feel we are selfish. it's okay. you're NOT selfish. =)

You are definitely not selfish. It takes time to heal. Lots of time. And, during that time a lot of it is spent inside. You can do this. Just keep trudging along!

I feel the same way...you're not selfish at all though, anyone who's been through the same would be the same way

it's not being selfish it's your way of trying to get your head around what has happened, it's your way of coping.
Are you in counselling because it may help ease those feelings of being selfish as you are there to talk about you and your issues and it may also help in allowing you to deal with what occurred.

I will never forget what a man said to me once when I called him and said that I am really feeling sorry for myself. I was new into therapy, had met this guy at a workshop. He is a Trager masssage therapist. I had gone to him for a massage and we became acquaintances. His words were so gentle and so soothing. At the time I had been crying a lot and feeling a lot of emotional pain. He said instead of looking at what I am feeling as self pity, look at it as great compassion for the child you once were and the hell she went thru. I have carried what he said for as long as I have been in therapy and on this journey.

You are not being selfish, it is your pain and your way of expressing it and feeling it. It is good for you to be focused on the journey right now. The book, the Courage to Heal writes about exercises to do and things to do to comfort that hurting child inside of you. Would you tell your own child to stop talking about it, stop feeling it, stop thinking only of yourself if he/she was sexually abused. I don't think you would. If you could give yourself that same gentle comfort and understanding you would give your own flesh and blood. If you want to message me and talk about it and talk about it and talk about it, please do. Get all of that hurt outside of yourself and allow others to be there for you.

I've been there time and time again. It's like you can't get away from it. It's not fun, but the more you focus on yourself and your feelings the better off you will be in the long run. Because when we were abused, it wasn't about us, it was about the person who was hurting us. And now we get to take that back and say that it wasn't okay and that we were devastated by it and that not we have to go through this horrible process of healing that hurt. We're here for you, we've all been there.

Hey,
Dont be hard on yourself. Only 6 months?! The abuse is still really fresh in your mind. The fallout from abuse can go on for decades after.
You are not selfish. youve suffered extreme trauma and of course its on your mind all the time.
are you in therapy? please seek therapy and do all you can to start your healing journey. Mourning, like you are doing now, is part of it.
I havent dealt with my abuse and issues for the last 10 years since the last abuse and had i been more proactive with my healing maybe the last 10 years could have been alot better than what they were. I cant go back in time, all i can do is try to better my life now.
Be careful who you turn to because not everyone is supportive or empathetic. I think a good therapist would be best and try not to depend on any one person too much, aside from a therapist.
Im glad youve come here because you can pour your heart out as much as you like and about anythign you like.
Dont ever forget that despite your suffering you have amazing strength inside you. you have the power to heal and be happy again. take care

Well, your abuse has wounded you. If you were sick in another way (say, had cancer [God forbid!] ) and you were feeling sick and in pain, and cried, and had hard time in not thinking about it all of the time, would you feel guilty? Probably not. The wounds you have suffered during your abuse are legitimate wounds to your mind, emotions, and body. They deserve respect, treatment, and time to heal.

As usual, I agree with everything Jeanette said. I will add that not only were you abused, you have also probably been neglected emotionally. You are not selfish. It is a small child within you who is crying out for help, through you. I tried to get in touch with that injured and neglected inner child who was inside me. The only thing my inner child has ever said to me is "Help me,I'm scared." In an effort to help him, I wrote a letter to my innerchild and tried to explain that what had happened was not his fault, that he need feel no shame or guilt that he had liked the attention and feelings he got, and that there would be feelings for the rest of his life that he would not understand, nor be able to fully control, but which he would manage.

I came across that letter last week and noticed it was dated 15 years ago. I read it and cried. Then I got back into living in today. That inner child, and I, judge me by what actions I have taken so far today.