Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Im 19,female & only just joined. I went to the house of the person i was in a relastionship with quite awhile ago now and he locked all door and wouldnt let me leave his house and then wouldnt let me go toilet, would press hard down on my stomach and was made to pee on him. For his own control and to see humilation and fetish i think. I dunno if this is really wrong to have happened and is bullying or sexual abuse. Cause humilation is like bullying and bullying isnt illegal?
Anyway now i have depression, anorexia and bpd. And i can not live my life anymore. I give him what he wants everyday. The humilation wasnt just then its everyday i feel disgusting for what i did and i do not want to give him that satifation anymore. Everyday i live he wins. And i just cant do it anymore. He shouldnt get what he wanted everyday.i cant get over it. I just want to forget about it but will never happen so i want to die.
Im so sad i dunno what to do. Its carved into my brain and i cant help hate myaelf because i just think about all the what ifs and how weak i was:'( :'(
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
This is absolutely sexual abuse because your will was violated and your freedom was violated and you were forced against your will to commit an action that was sexualized by him.
I strongly suggest you seek professional help to heal from this. I found a therapist by calling the hotline at RAINN.org.
And I also want to say that even though you felt humiliated by being forced to lose control of your toilet functions for this man's pleasure and gratification, is he really in a superior position to you? I mean, the man wants to be peed on. That is not the most dignified position to be in!
He doesn't win by you living. You win by you living. Your life is yours. Many of us have horrors in our pasts, but those things don't define who we are. Surviving and healing and being who we choose to be defines who we are. That's winning!
Sorry i didnt make it clear. It is not really on going. Like i am not there now but that situation has happened more then once. I am still in contact with him cause im quite scared of his threats.
He also tells me many things to make me feel at fault and disgusted when ever he gets the chance. Which part of me never agrees with and his way to makr me be quiet. He tells me things like "it takes two peoole for a bad situation to happen" was involved, and couldnt of done it by himself so i should take part blame. He also says things along thr lines like i made him into a bad person and that its not exactly impossible that with the wrong mix of two people, one can make the other into a horrible person. Just by the way i acted, i let him think it was okay even though i clearly didnt want it and let him think is okay to disrespect me cause i was no one. But i think others would have more of a back bone and wouldnt of been so weak.cause im just the shy girl that doesnt really have a vioce even when i am shouting no. And that he wouldnt ever do it to anyone else.
Basically he does get inside my head alot to make me feel so low
Please call the helpline at RAINN.org or use the chatline over the computer. They will be able to help you. And continue to come here for support.