I"m so sorry you are dealing with panic attack triggers brought on by memories of your past sexual abuse. I"m not sure I can help much, but I do know there are a few things you can do when you start to recognize going the direction of a panic attack starting. Things like, deep breathing, meditation on positive truths that you do know and are aware of. Yoga helps too, even doing at home.. works great.
I know your time is limited and very all consuming with your little ones. Try to get up before the kids get up to have some "centered" alone time, I use time in the morning to feed my soul first. I read the Bible and pray, it totally changes the landscape of my day.
Journal your thoughts, feelings, dreams and desires.. sometimes simply giving space to these things helps to process them better.
I pray you find peace, hope and strength for today my friend.

Will deffinitely try those. thank you so much for responding. other than taking deep breaths how does deep breathing work? is there a count to it or something like that?

You have definitely been thru trauma and it does bring that on. Stress can add to it and it can feel out of control. Some things that really help a lot are taking magnesium and ginseng since they calm the mind body and spirit and get rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop. Also, getting in the sun, taking strolls in evening with kids or playing outside with them. Distracting your mind with some humorous tv or books after they are in bed, fast forward thru the trigger parts. We all need a break from our mind especially in stressful times. Best to you dear, you got this! <3 Breathing exercise help a lot too.

Will check to see if those are safe while pregnant and breastfeeding. strolls in the morning sound better (climate im in. lol. too hot in evenings/afternoons).
thank you, i desperately needed to hear that.

I experience extreme reactions to what I feel are nonsensical triggers, too. I recently started opening up about my experience and decided it was time to get help. However, what has helped me, especially during COVID, is to go on Pinterest and pretend like I'm a kid redesigning my life. When I'm triggered, usually in the evening since that is about the time the abuse would start, I meditate and go to the "dream house" I made on Pinterest. I think of every image I can imagine as ridiculous and fabulous as I can create. Since you have kids, it might be a fun idea to ask them to make a pin board and ask them to pick things they would put in a dream house for all of you. It is a fun distraction and it is good to surround yourself with whimsical/aesthetically pleasing images. Art is a proven anxiety reducer and including your kids in creativity would be a great bonding experience. Glitter is always fun too. :D I am sorry you are going through this, but you are not alone. <3