Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
ok so today at 4pm...on the Oprah show she she going to interview child molesters...now i wana watch it but i know how triggering it will be but i seriously wanna know the answers to her questions...who know maybe some of mine will be answered....are any of you going to watch it?
tiff
She was talking to you!
and me
and herself.
http://www.tennessean.com/article/...
Tom S. in Tn.
http://www.tennessean.com/article/20100207/NEWS0205/2070362/Sex-abuse-allegations-plague-TN-juvenile-detention-center
and this one too, if that's not enough.
http://www.tennessean.com/article/20100108/NEWS0201/1080361/Sex-abuse-reported-at-Nashville-youth-detention-facility
Tom S. in Tn.
Tom S. in Tn.
Itzjustme:
As was already mentioned she has a spot on her website of this two hour interview with the four perpetrators.
I watched it. And strange for me because I have known for years that it was not my fault, yet, it still made me cry when Oprah looked straight into the camera and said it was not my fault...maybe because no one has ever looked me in the eye and said that to me.
Quick Summary of Program:
1. 90% of abuse is not stranger abuse, but from people we know: family, friends, neighbors.
2. Perpetrators seek out vulnerable, needy children and then work at gaining their trust.
3. Perpetrators are clever, (I add, illusion-driven) people who work hard at making the sexual experience pleasurable for the child. This confuses the child into thinking that they (the child) are at fault somehow because it felt good.
Oprah pointed out that if the experience were painful the child would most likely tell someone.
Feedback from Perpetrators:
A father who molested his 12-year old daughter said that he had fantasized about doing it for a time. He said his fantasies eventually overtook his behavior and he began acting on them by touching his sleeping daughter inappropriately.
Another said that his cousin was a very needy child whose parents did not give her the attention she needed. He played on that to the point that the child was willing to do any sexual thing he wanted as long as he did not ignore her.
One perpetrator had very little to say except that he thought he would never abuse again. (My gut told me differently).
Oprah asked about grooming:
-Back rubs
-Foot rubs
-hands on the shoulder
-cuddling on the couch
-Not hurting the child, but bringing them physical pleasure
-Any type of "innocent" physical contact to get the child used to being touched by the perpetrator
Red Flags for Parents:
-Adult spending more time with children than adults
-Poor parenting skills make child easier targets
-Child also becomes vulnerable when they hold anger towards their parents, retaliation against parents, are needy, neglected, etc.
What perpetrators say to the child to keep them from telling:
Somehow this segment got cut out.
Harm Done:
Here is where Oprah and I see things differently:
She says "when a child is abused it changes who they are; it kills their spirit."
I say, it wounded me, but it did not kill my spirit.
Advice to child being molested:
Keep telling someone.
I'm not sure this is the best advice because there is more wrapped up in telling than getting someone to believe you. The child may fear the family will be split up. Or that the "loved" one will have to go to jail. Or that no one will believe her, no matter how many people she tells. There are many, many variables in this area.
What would you say to a child who is being abused?
xx
SuzA
i am thankful she has the balls to do soemthing like this. i would like to knwo more about why they do it. what gets them off. i feel it was answered but not in the detail i wish it would be. maybe its more that i will never have the answers, as none of really will.
hugs