acinorev92,

There is something to be done...you can WORK with flashbacks. Matt Atkinson wrote Resurrection After Rape and talks about how to work with flashbacks. I've quoted some excerpts from the book below:

"Flashbacks feel like hell, but they're not dangerous. A flashback occurs when the subconscious mind is trying to resolve some conflicted or painful detail about your trauma."

and

"...unless the conflicted memory is acknowledged, fully expressed in your mind and resolved, it will continue to percolate as a flashback."

and

"The good part of having a flashback is that they indicate you are finally ready to resolve these traumatic memories. Although they feel frightening, they also suggest an unusual form of mental strength."

and

"Overcoming flashbacks requires you to do the exact opposite of what your 'comfort instincts' tell you to do; rather than avoiding these memories (with whatever tricks you use to numb them), you have to directly examine them. In every detail. Even the yucky ones. Especially the yucky ones."

Glad to hear you're in counseling. Hope your therapist knows how to work with survivors or is willing to learn. You might also want to get Atkinson's book.

You can heal.

xx
SuzA

Flashbacks are very difficult to deal with and I am sorry you are having them now.

I found that my flashbacks ended when I had processed enough of the emotions that were attached to the trauma. A flashback not only showed me what happened (because I had no memory of the abuse) it also showed me how I felt at the time. I did not like having to feel all of it all over again but it was necessary if I wanted to heal. I had to feel everything again in order to process it and heal it.

If you are having flashbacks again then some feelings are not healed yet. If you can, write down how you are feeling and bring that to your therapist so you can discuss it. Healing is in the feelings and we each must feel what happened at the time in order for us to heal it.

Take care

Thank you for your postings, it helps me to not feel so alone. I've had a lot of abuse in my life, and I'm having a hard time with flashbacks right now. I was sexually abused when I was 12 by a 40 year old man for close to a year. Then, years later when I was at a high school party I was gang raped by three so called guy friends. Lately, these flashbacks make me feel like I'm there again. I don't know how to handle it, I'm an emotional wreck. I don't like my kids seeing me this way and my husband just wants me to get over it because it was so long ago. I'm in counseling, but have no one else, no other family or friends. I feel alone in my pain. I don't want these intense flashbacks. How do you work through them? Any advice?

SusanW6 - It's so annoying when family thinks we can "just get over it" or "It's in the past why do you still think about it?" So infuriating.

The truth is we can't just get over it because it is a trauma. One thing that may help your husband to understand (it was the only thing my mother would understand) is to tell him you have PTSD and to have him read up on it. Maybe that will help him understand that you can't 'just get over it'.

I am glad you are in counseling and hope it has helped/is helping you. I found that the flashbacks did end once I had processed enough of the feelings associated with them. When I was having flashbacks I would discuss them with my therapist and I allowed myself to feel all the emotion associated with them. Until you allow yourself to feel all the feelings you will continue to have them. Hopefully you are working through your feelings with your therapist and the flashbacks will eventually end like they did for me.

Healing is in allowing yourself to feel all the feelings you have prevented yourself from feeling. Its not easy but it will move you forward in your healing.

Thank you everyone for your kind words of support.

SuzA66, I'll definitely check out that book.. Thank you for sending the quotes, I find them really comforting

Luckyempath, I feel like I'm struggling most because there are things I've dealt with before and I haven't had flashbacks in so long.. They've come out of the blue, but I will definitely be writing down how I feel to bring it to my therapist, thank you for that suggestion.

Susanw6, thank you for sharing your experiences with us, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm having a hard time with my boyfriend as well right now, he doesn't understand how painful flashbacks are and he doesn't know what to do. My ex understood perfectly and it's hard when someone who's not in your life in the same way is the one person who helps the most. I wish I could give you advice on how to help your family understand what you're going through, but I'm dealing with that challenge too.. I would however take LuckyEmpath's advice and tell him you suffer from PTSD, I recently told my boyfriend that and although he didn't really understand, he was compassionate and willing to hear what that meant for me. Last night I did let myself feel everything and honestly I felt like I was dying on the inside.. I chatted with my best friend and with support I got through the night and today I woke up feeling better... So I think embracing the emotions when you're in a safe space may be helpful.. Can't say it'll stop the flashbacks very quickly, but it could help? Maybe it'll help you convey to your husband exactly how you feel?

Again, thank you all so much, you're all such incredible people

This is a beautiful thread. Acinorev92, I'm going through much the same and feel for you.

Everyone, thank you for your thoughtful replies. I've benefitted from reading them.

i agree with three abby, i have recently experienced a flash back, and have found everyone's post here very helpful and encouraging. I can specially relate to luckyempath. I have learned so much from my flashback, i too have no memory, and i too was not in touch with my feelings. My counselor however could see what was happening even though i couldn't see it in the moment. I also agree this is a beautiful thread, i really like how threeabby said that.