Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Hello All,
It has been a long white since I posted on here.
A little back ground on me. I am in my late twenties and for the past 10 years or so, I have had these feelings that something happened to me when I was younger. I have had glimpses of things happening to me. I am not sure if they are real or imagined. But they leave me feeling unsettled. I have brought it up to my mom, but she just brushes it off.
For the main part of my discussion. This past weekend I went out for my Bachelorette party with some of my girls. They took me to a male strip club. There was the usual debauchery. Guys dancing and stripping to undies. Having things waved in my face. I was ok with it at the time ( mind you I did have a couple drinks). My girls bought me a lap dance and they pulled me up on stage. The girls also bought me a private dance. This was very intense and was pretty much just dry humping.
Like I said before during the night it was fun. I had a great time. I was enjoying myself. However, when we got back I was feeling very strange. I felt like I didn't know how to process what had happened. I just layed down and went to sleep. The next day I was completely preoccupied with thoughts of the night before. I felt guilty, uneasy, and sick to my stomach. I kept getting flashes, the littlest things reminded me of it. The sick this is that I wanted to go back.
It is now almost a week later and I am still bothered by this. It is triggering old habits and thoughts (cutting, and food restriction). These are all things I did when I was younger. I thought I was over these issues. I really didn't expect this experience to effect me this way. I am so confused and wierded out by the face that I want to go back.
I know this is pretty much rambling, but I needed to get it out. I am feeling lost at the moment. Any thoughts or comments about this are welcomed.
Thanks
It has been a long white since I posted on here.
A little back ground on me. I am in my late twenties and for the past 10 years or so, I have had these feelings that something happened to me when I was younger. I have had glimpses of things happening to me. I am not sure if they are real or imagined. But they leave me feeling unsettled. I have brought it up to my mom, but she just brushes it off.
For the main part of my discussion. This past weekend I went out for my Bachelorette party with some of my girls. They took me to a male strip club. There was the usual debauchery. Guys dancing and stripping to undies. Having things waved in my face. I was ok with it at the time ( mind you I did have a couple drinks). My girls bought me a lap dance and they pulled me up on stage. The girls also bought me a private dance. This was very intense and was pretty much just dry humping.
Like I said before during the night it was fun. I had a great time. I was enjoying myself. However, when we got back I was feeling very strange. I felt like I didn't know how to process what had happened. I just layed down and went to sleep. The next day I was completely preoccupied with thoughts of the night before. I felt guilty, uneasy, and sick to my stomach. I kept getting flashes, the littlest things reminded me of it. The sick this is that I wanted to go back.
It is now almost a week later and I am still bothered by this. It is triggering old habits and thoughts (cutting, and food restriction). These are all things I did when I was younger. I thought I was over these issues. I really didn't expect this experience to effect me this way. I am so confused and wierded out by the face that I want to go back.
I know this is pretty much rambling, but I needed to get it out. I am feeling lost at the moment. Any thoughts or comments about this are welcomed.
Thanks
I am going to try and work though some of these feelings, see what the root of it really is.
Thanks again!!!
Your fiance is right , you did nothing wrong. But as a victim you maybe have some of those guilt factors still going on. I know I do. I have trouble and go back and forth with guilt, anger, and hopelessness.. I will say this, my therapist said it. when you feel lost and like cutting grab a piece of ice and hold it in your hand until it burns. It helps you bring your mind back to feeling something, and you aren't cutting yourself. I also lay with my dog. she helps a lot. Good luck hun :) you can do it.