Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Hi all,
I am new to the site and am looking for some help. To give you a little background, I was sexually abused by my father. I don't know when it started, but I know it ended around age 9. I suspect that he abused my siblings as well, but they have no memory of the abuse. I married a pedophile, who sexually abused our daughter. No. He never went to prison. Not that I didn't report, I did. That is a story for another time.
I did confront my father 10 years ago, and his response was, "If I did, I don't remember it." I went into therapy shortly after confronting him, which helped. Then I went through several events that changed the course of my life. I moved over 1400 miles away from my FOO and then re-entered therapy here. I have not had any real contact with my parents in more than 10 years. I feel stuck at this point. I want to tell my father how much he hurt me. I want to tell him that it was a choice on his part, not a black-out session. He never drank, so he can't blame alcohol, and he never did drugs, so he can't claim amnesia.
I really want to call him again and get him to admit the abuse. I want him to take responsibility for what he did. I know in all reality that he won't ask for forgiveness. I know he won't admit anything. He is now 75 and I wonder how he lives with the memories of what he did to us kids.
Thanks for listening and looking forward to your replies.
I am new to the site and am looking for some help. To give you a little background, I was sexually abused by my father. I don't know when it started, but I know it ended around age 9. I suspect that he abused my siblings as well, but they have no memory of the abuse. I married a pedophile, who sexually abused our daughter. No. He never went to prison. Not that I didn't report, I did. That is a story for another time.
I did confront my father 10 years ago, and his response was, "If I did, I don't remember it." I went into therapy shortly after confronting him, which helped. Then I went through several events that changed the course of my life. I moved over 1400 miles away from my FOO and then re-entered therapy here. I have not had any real contact with my parents in more than 10 years. I feel stuck at this point. I want to tell my father how much he hurt me. I want to tell him that it was a choice on his part, not a black-out session. He never drank, so he can't blame alcohol, and he never did drugs, so he can't claim amnesia.
I really want to call him again and get him to admit the abuse. I want him to take responsibility for what he did. I know in all reality that he won't ask for forgiveness. I know he won't admit anything. He is now 75 and I wonder how he lives with the memories of what he did to us kids.
Thanks for listening and looking forward to your replies.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry this happened to you. I know it took a great deal of courage to tell what happened, and you should be proud of yourself that you took this leap of faith!
Inner child work is simply trying to heal the child that suffered the abuse. It really is the child that carries the memories, so a lot of the behaviors associated with the abuse are still present in the adult, but aren't in response to anything happening currently in my life.
Do you think your parents suspected what your grandfather was doing? I do understand how difficult it is to trust others, and certainly know what it feels like to be depressed. If you can find the ability to take another leap of faith, I would definitely recommend seeing a therapist. You could make some calls to find a therapist that focuses on survivors of sexual abuse. Interview the therapist, find out if it will be a good fit for you. I like to think of it as interviewing for a job. If the company's goals and mission don't match mine, then I move on. I can tell you that through therapy I have gained the greatest healing. I think it helped to have someone reflect back to me my thoughts and feelings and then I could work through them and decide what I wanted to do with them.
I do hope you will find someone that you trust and can help you begin to heal. I am glad that you have a new friend who understands what you have gone through, but I do want to caution you that you need to focus on yourself. Not to sound like a mama here, but I am a mama, and I just want to say that you are the most important person in your life! You deserve happiness and a healthy relationship!
Hugs to you!