Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I was abused at a younger age and then again as I got older and each time it was by a family member now I'am just afraid to be in a relationship with any any one who askes me out i start having bad thoughts all over again I tell every one I'am not gay or anything i'am just more comfortable sharing things with girls because of past experience with guys even something as simple as a kiss or hug even if it is from a family member who as done nothing to me i freak out and have a flash out it is like having a pantic atic and i need to get air i feel like i can not breath I give most boys false phone numbers I just need some advice on how to get over this so i can be in a relationship
deleted_user
It will take some time. I think you will be able to have a relationship eventually but it will just take a really long time before you are able to fully trust them. I would recommend trying to be friends with a guy for a while until you trust him before you try to push a relationship. But I mean, first thing's first. You need to get better. If you heal yourself as best you can from your past and get out of your present situation things like this will start to slowly fall into place.
bratpack
thanks for the advice
deleted_user
Only you know when you are ready to do anything. Just remember you are in control of your self now. You are your own person. With guys it is going to be hard because of what happened to you. It was hard for me too because it happened to me with my oldest brother when i was really little. Sometimes you have to put up those boundaries to protect your self, just try not to let them hinder you. The way i have been trying to over come it is, not every guy is like my older brother so i cant treat every guy like that. Its hard sometimes but maybe try to keep that in mind i hope that helps. Im here if you need to talk!
MandyG
Hey, I can kind of relate. I've had many abusers in my past, boys/girls friend/family/stranger(s). I want you to know that your distrust and freaking out is NORMAL! It is your natural reaction after having been abused; you're body's way of trying to keep you safe by going into "fight or flight" mode when you are put in situations that resemble those of the past. It took me awhile to accept that I wasn't a freak for reacting like that... flashbacks are a bitch, that goes for certain, but you can learn to cope with them better. Being able to trust again takes alot of work too...and, in my experience, cannot be done alone. Someone has to be able to help you learn to trust... that's how it went with me. I hope you find that person soon. Maybe you already know someone you trust? About having to explain that you're not gay... I had issues with that too! My parents thought me and my best friend were lesbians and that she was my girlfriend! All just cuz I HATED guys... but of course, it's not like I told my parents all the stuff that had happened. That's what changed things. I finally realized I needed help, and the only way I was able to get help was finally confront my parents and let them in. I didn't go into details, but I told them what I knew they needed to k now to get me help. The best thing I can do to help you is to tell you that you really need to find someone professionally. They will be able to work with you individual and develope your coping skills so you can learn how to deal with the panic attacks/flashbacks and anxieties that you have. No, for people like us who have had traumatic experiences; we can't just "get over it" but we can learn to handle it and overcome it.
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