Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Ok so I was a member on here for a while because my cousin, and best friend molested me for almost eight years. But here's the thing, have you ever felt an awful deja vu? Like you know youv done this or been in this situation before? Well I can usually tell where this deja vu came from, mostly in my dreams. Well this isnt really deja vu as much as its more painful than it should be. I was in my college psych class before and I asked if someone could be hypnotized to see if they'v ever been sexually assaulted and they repressed it so bad that they dont remember. I dont know why I asked I just had to know. Well, I have been a nymphomaniac for a very long time now, someone close to me said that it was a mental condition. Plus I was watching porn with my significant other and came across one with a really little girl in it. It was a pop up or something, trust me we werent searching for it. Well as soon as I saw that I got all these feelings like I know the feeling, I was scared to death and sad. I bursted into tears and I couldnt stop, I had this awful pain in my heart like I was being raped. I dont know if Im crazy or if maybe its a repressed memory trying to say its time to release. I dont know what to think about this I just know that it scared me so badly, it was almost traumatic just to see that glimpse of a clip. If anyone has any ideas how to deal with this or what you think it is please let me know....
often people who've been abused - especiallys euxally, turn off the connection between their brain and body. we stop being able to sense things in our body. we abuse it, we loathe it we basically detach from it.
your post sounds like at the very least, your body is telling you something. i think that is pretty important and maybe you should find a way to explore those feelings with a therapist or someone similarly qualified to help you sort things out.
please give some thought to seeing some one who can help - fast!
Are you asking if there may have been more extreme abuse than you remember. Thats something no one can really tell you. It is possible that worse happened and the memory is repressed. If that is the case you will just have to wait for the memory to surface. If people tell you that you have been raped then that may convince you it happened when maybe it didnt.
Maybe the porn just triggered feelings of the abuse that you know about. I think whether you have been molested or raped the feelings can be similar.
As to being a nymphomaniac, that is common in survivors. Survivors can be overly sexual or completely turned off by sex or somewhere in between. As long as this doesnt have a bad impact on you, dont worry about it.
I agree that you should see a therapist if you are not already.
Your not messed up in the head, your body and mind are teling you things that you suspect. Repression is common and in analytical psychotherapy terms we have lots of defence mechanisms and that is one.
Maybe you need to talk to someone about how this event has affected you and your response to seeing the little girl. Triggers are common also, you see something and it triggers off lots of feelings etc that you feel you have no control over at first.
Your not crazy either.
Lamby41