Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
September 2015, I was raped by 2 men. It brought back the memory of when my evil best friend stepfather molested me at 12. The hardest thing was to tell my father. It was the first time he cried in years. I am bipolar, so I grew manic. Eventually I was institutionalized. I felt filthy. Tainted. I took about 3 showers every day. Thank God this particular hospital allowed smoke breaks. The cruel patients said its because I am "beautiful" and sexy...even though I was 20 pounds overweight. My boyfriend at the time couldn't handle it, and we broke up. This made me feel like no one could ever love me again. Some of the nurses were cruel. Finally, I snapossn "YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU GOT YOUR DEGREE, YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ME?! When I was 19, I worked at a disability council, when I was 20 I volunteered at ONE, at 21, I became a council member for TWO councils. At 22, I worked at guam homeland security ! You.." Finally, this amazing man took me to smoke and we talked. He didn't respect me before because when I was admitted at 20, I was a brat. He doesn't talk to the clients
I rambled for hours , saying women today think it's ok y to sleep with a man after the 3rd date. It's slutty. He was surprised and said no. Eventually, I Said I am going yo get out of here by November . He wanted me to stay until next November. We fell for each other, although it could never be for he was a psych tech and I a client. Eventually I pushed him away...but on his shift, I made him blush and laugh, then angry. They said we fight like cats and dogs. That we need to protect each other.. I think it's because I was trying yo forget my muse. Anyway, I can't even have sex anymore without thinking im being raped.
It's been a year. Shouldn't I be over it? For the first 6 months, I was terrified of leaving my house because men looked at me like I was attractive (HA!) My muse would force me to get coffee with him( I am an addict )
I am falling . Again.
And he can't...fall for me. He's handsome an I'm a mess. But sometimes h e. looks at me in this odd way..Like he wants to admit so ME thing. Please help
I rambled for hours , saying women today think it's ok y to sleep with a man after the 3rd date. It's slutty. He was surprised and said no. Eventually, I Said I am going yo get out of here by November . He wanted me to stay until next November. We fell for each other, although it could never be for he was a psych tech and I a client. Eventually I pushed him away...but on his shift, I made him blush and laugh, then angry. They said we fight like cats and dogs. That we need to protect each other.. I think it's because I was trying yo forget my muse. Anyway, I can't even have sex anymore without thinking im being raped.
It's been a year. Shouldn't I be over it? For the first 6 months, I was terrified of leaving my house because men looked at me like I was attractive (HA!) My muse would force me to get coffee with him( I am an addict )
I am falling . Again.
And he can't...fall for me. He's handsome an I'm a mess. But sometimes h e. looks at me in this odd way..Like he wants to admit so ME thing. Please help
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Middy is off for a bit so if anyone needs a CL please just give me a shoutSending a big hug...xo
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
A year is not very long, and please, do not compare yourself to others... That will destroy you. (THEY are better already? It's only been XX months... Why can't I 'get better') don't do this...
I was raped over 25 years ago... I'm still not 'over it'... Ask anyone in here, I still have bad days... Donnawonda knows that.. I talk to her and others often... But then I also have good days and can help others..
I was molested at a family picnic longer time ago.. Still have flashback, still have stupid triggers ( over stupid things).
It's ok.. Everyone heals differently.
I didn't open up till many years later. I saw my therapist for over 5 years before I ever told him I was sexually abused... I still feel 'funny' talking to him about it.. Just waiting for him to 'give up' on me...
Please, if you want to compare to someone, think of me. Probably been dealing with this longer than you've been alive...
Everyone is different, but yet everyone is slightly the same too.
I'm here if you want to talk, or others in here...
Find someone you trust in here and in real life. Talk to them.. In here, write a journal, but make your profile friends only...
Hang in there...
@notalone, I will definitely talk to you. I feel stupid for falling for the psych tech. I think its because I was the prettiest client there and one of the most interesting. I commented on his photo on Instagram and said "I forgot how hot you are" AND HE BLOCKED ME. It doesn't matter. He was a filler for my muse.a distraction while I was locked up for 2 MONTHS
The first time I was raped was 32 years ago and I'm far from over it. There are times when I get triggered so bad that I can't breathe. There are other times when all I can do is wrap my arms around myself and sob because it still breaks my heart. Sometimes I wish he was dead but then I remember that that is too easy. So know that a year is not something to beat yourself up over. Like Notalone, you can talk to me as well.