Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

3,544 Members
16,257 Posts
0 Online
Personal Challenges
/ Sexual Abuse Support Group

I need help

nofil69
nofil69

I am 48 and had always had intimasy issues. Im starting a new relationship and dont wanna bring my issues in with me... as a boy I was assaulted by my uncle and since then never felt comfortable in the same intimate moments with my partner... I also have periods of my life I dont remember and I also have a strong dislike in another sexual act... could there be something else Im not remembering that would cause the bad feelings about such loving and intemate times? and how can I fix it?

donnawanda
donnawanda
I'm very sorry for what you've been through. I think all of us who have been through sexual abuse in childhood have intimacy issues, so you are far from alone. Have you ever gone for counseling or therapy?

Many people have repressed memories that don't come back until many years later. I myself still don't remember much of my teen years and suspect abuse that I can't remember.

Your best bet for healing yourself around intimacy would be therapy with someone who is experienced in dealing with abuse survivors, preferably male abuse survivors. Healing is not something that happens quickly, I'm afraid. But don't assume your partner won't have patience or tolerance for your issues. Many women would be able to appreciate the kinds of mixed feelings that you have and would be willing to work with or around your issues. There are several of us in this group who have been able to maintain loving relationships despite our intimacy issues. You are not alone. Don't assume that you can't be loved or that you won't find the patience and compassion that you need in a partner.

I would also like to recommend to you a website by and for men who have been sexually abused: 1in6.org.
WallbrownF
WallbrownF
Well, if you need help, we are here for you as best we can be. I'm really sorry to hear that you are struggling with intimacy, but I am happy to hear that you want to fix it. What your uncle did to you is horrible and I'm sorry you had to go through it. I'm here because my wife was sexually abused, but my sisters where also sexually abuse and the more that I find out about my past, the more I realize that I don't remember and I suspect that something may have happened to me. Donna is right, you should seek professional assistance and healing probably won't be quick for you and that your assumptions can be incorrect. You aren't alone. We are here for you. Love & Hugs <3
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • joanne777

    I feel dreadful

    Posted by: joanne777
    Last Reply: joanne777
    5
    I feel so dirty and used  I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped  after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
  • AnnJ11

    Forced to be slient

    Posted by: AnnJ11
    Last Reply: AnnJ11
    3
    Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?