Hi, I'm new I go by Cry, or Crayola... I don't care which. Anyway I'll try to keep it simple.

So my brother raped me when I was seven or eight... It was close to my birthday. Anyway so long story short, we were playing a game when he stopped and asked if I wanted to play a game. I nodded and he pinned me to the couch hands above head. He shoved it in my mouth and then off into my V. He didn't go easy, he just slammed it right in. He sat there in me for a solid minute or two before he moved. Anyway so my ma began coming down the stairs and he pulled out and continued to play with cars. Anyway so I lost my virginity to my brother in my basement on that old dirty couch. I stood up and uncomfortablly walked back to my room. I stood there completely shocked and in severe pain.

Anyway my dad, also touched me and I remember one I was 6, he shoved one finger in me and then two and then so on and so forth until he was practically fisting me all the while I cried which came out in a moan, which made him go faster. He then forced me to suck him off until he came. He then placed his fingers in my mouth and told me to suck them. I did so all while I hurt. And then we went into a Walmart like nothing happened. I hurt for a few days. 

Anyway so I've had a few other close calls. My ex pushed me against the wall and I kept telling him to stop before a more recent friend practically bashed my attempted rapist's head into a wall.

But I have so many questions, like are reoccurring nightmares normal? After the nightmares am I supposed to hurt down there? I just... Don't know what to do. Anyway sorry for the rant. It was supposed to be a introduction but I kinda just spilled everything so

....

Sorry.