Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
When I was 9 I moved to where I live now. I became good friends with my cousin, he had no friends either so we were each other's only friends. After a few weeks actually he started touching me. I told him, a teacher, and my mom that I was uncomfortable with him touching me. They made us stay seperated, but we were each others only friends so I still talked to him. He managed to convince me that its what friends do so we started hanging out again. For 8 YEARS he molested me, and in PUBLIC!!! No one ever did anything to him, never told him to stop. After about a year of it though he told me he was gay, and he started touching me in more personal areas. He was touching me in school, in the middle of class, I would tell him to stop and he would say "oh come on you know you like it". He did this to me for 8 years. I started with depression, trying to kill myself everyday and not knowing why I was so depressed except for how things were going at home. So I would escape home, and go to his house, where at points I swear he was about to rape me. Last year we grew apart, he took my friends from me, and dumped me off. I watch him with his friends and he doesnt DARE to touch them. I want to know why. I want to know why in the fuck he could touch me in public, but he doesnt even dare to touch them?? Not only that but when we were friends I would dream to have someone rape me. I REALLY wanted someone to rape me, like Im being molested its like its leading to something thats not going to happen, Im not really sure how to explain it. Kind of like "Just go ahead and fucking do it already, enough of the foreplay" type thing or does that not make any sense?
Ok my other problem is, I think its time I told someone, but I feel uncomfortable talking about personal things with anyone (except online) I have a counsilor and she doesnt know. My mom doesnt know, the only person who does is my friend Courtney, but she cant really help. I want to confront him again, and I want to tell someone. I even am having urges to make a video and post it on youtube I want to get it out there, to tell people when you see someone being touched innappropriately DO SOMETHING!!! To save someone else from having to go through what I did. I dont know if I should say anything or even how I should start??
This situation is so bad, that I had a problem with personal things about a month or two ago. I had to go to the doctor and she wanted to do a PAP test. She left the room so I can get undressed and I freaked out. I didnt move from my seat I just sat there and bawled my eyes out. They asked me if Im hiding something, or if I did something. No....but then she said could it be that Im ashamed of my body...so I figured thats probably the problem but now that I think about it I think its because I was molested so long I cant have anyone touch me. How am I supposed to do in relationships if I cant let anyone touch me??
I dont know, I just dont know. This is the first time I have told my whole story to anyone, and I decided to post it on a forum online. I really need help, I dont know what to do.....
Ok my other problem is, I think its time I told someone, but I feel uncomfortable talking about personal things with anyone (except online) I have a counsilor and she doesnt know. My mom doesnt know, the only person who does is my friend Courtney, but she cant really help. I want to confront him again, and I want to tell someone. I even am having urges to make a video and post it on youtube I want to get it out there, to tell people when you see someone being touched innappropriately DO SOMETHING!!! To save someone else from having to go through what I did. I dont know if I should say anything or even how I should start??
This situation is so bad, that I had a problem with personal things about a month or two ago. I had to go to the doctor and she wanted to do a PAP test. She left the room so I can get undressed and I freaked out. I didnt move from my seat I just sat there and bawled my eyes out. They asked me if Im hiding something, or if I did something. No....but then she said could it be that Im ashamed of my body...so I figured thats probably the problem but now that I think about it I think its because I was molested so long I cant have anyone touch me. How am I supposed to do in relationships if I cant let anyone touch me??
I dont know, I just dont know. This is the first time I have told my whole story to anyone, and I decided to post it on a forum online. I really need help, I dont know what to do.....
Second you need to talk to somone, yes it will be hard, I won't sugar coat it, but if u want to leave this behind u need to get it out
You don't get over things without going through them
And I think for you its time to go through it
You can avoid dealing with it for you entire life, and let it rule you
Or just do it and get it over with because living in the past is not really living at all
Its like driving forward while looking in the rearview mirror, its dangerous
If u EVER need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you :)
i've been where you've been...and sometimes, i get stuck. i want to get it out...but when people are ready, i'm not...when i'm ready they're not...
when the time does come around, where they are ready to listen and i am wanting to talk, i get stuck...i don't know what to say or where to start...then the moment is gone and i'm sitting alone...
i don't have dreams about wanting it to happen...but i do have dreams of it happening.
as for counselors...i tried talked to a few...but they didn't help me much. it seems as if no one can help me...or no one wants to? i'm currently seeking another counselor (but she's on vacation)...
i hope that we can get through this...and soon.
i'm not too sure about confronting your cousin about this...it may have a negative effect...but then again, we're all different...
keep your head up!
The best person to tell would be your counsellor, mostly because you know they have heard worse and wont judge you or think of you any differently.
The only reason therapy doesn't work is because people think it wont. You only get out what you put in, so if you are keeping all these secrets then no, therapy wont work.
And it is hard telling this biggest secret, and you will always be afraid to tell someone, but you need to. You don't want to eventually in ten years get over it, then in twenty have it come back to haunt you. There is a HUGH difference between getting over something and healing from it. And you need to heal from you and you can't do it alone.
I think you had to be strong for too long, and you carried this on yourself for too many years. You need to let someone else carry you, and be strong for you.
If you ever need to talk we are all here for you sweetie,