Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
My flash backs have gotten worse and happen more often. Today I was waiting to see a teacher and my best friend hugged me and all I remember is being on the floor with teachers around me. Zach says I fell to the floor crying and screaming. How can I stop this it scares me.
I'm going to quote from Matt Atkinson's book, Resurrection After Rape. Now, you may or may not have been raped, but the dynamics of healing from incest, sexual abuse and/or rape are similar enough to be useful for all.
Atkinson says, and I quote...
"Flashbacks feel like hell, but they're not dangerous. A flashback occurs when the subconscious mind is trying to resolve some conflicted or painful detail about your trauma. They happen when the mind is sufficiently at ease that the subconscious can inject the troubling memory into your conscious without the defensive walls of numbness, dissociation, or intoxication holding them back."
He goes on to say...,
"...unless the conflicted memory is acknowledged, fully expressed in your mind, and resolved, it will continue to percolate as a flashback."
and,
"The longer you postpone resolution of these memories...the more difficult it will be to manage them whey you can't resist them anymore. The good part of having a flashback is that they indicate you are finally ready to resolve these traumatic memories."
and,
"Although they feel frightening, they also suggest an unusual form of mental strength."
and,
"...rather than avoiding these memories...you have to directly examine them. In every detail. Even the yucky ones. Especially the yucky ones."
Atkinson says it's important to "Write down every detail of the flashback and examine it from every sense: what you heard, what you felt, what you smelled, what you tasted. Write down even the things that seem bizarre and unrelated."
Do this with your therapist. And if you don't have a therapist try to get one. We need others to help us heal from sexual abuse--no, no one can do it for us, but the support and trained guidance of a gifted therapist is invaluable.
Sounds like your body is saying you are ready to heal. Good.
xx
SuzA