Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I resently told about my abuse and I'm now starting to feel Alone. I've been searching for someone who understands and can help.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
Who did you tell?
Go on line and check out the locations of 12-Step support groups for incest/sexual abuse survivors that meet in your area.
And, if it's possible check out women's centers to find a therapist who is trained or who is willing to learn how to work with survivors.
I know it can feel lonely; keep coming back here to talk--you'll be talking with people who may be able to help but who will certainly understand.
xx
SuzA
If you are looking for a therapist, I found one who could help me work on sexual abuse issues by calling the hotline at RAINN.org.
As far as working with your therapist goes, you should be able to ease into it. Between the two of you, it should be relatively easy to come up with a list of current symptoms and behaviors you want to change, that resulted from the abuse. This can be done without you ever having to give your therapist details about what happened to you.
In fact, the therapist who helped me the most in dealing with my abuse only ever asked general questions about what happened to me. Not once did she ask me to go in to detail about what they did.
Everyone is different, so I can't tell you it will be the same for you. I was also worried that thinking about my abuse to the degree I had to for therapy to be effective would trigger more flashbacks, but in my case, it didn't. There was no change in the frequency of flashbacks at the start, and once we really started dealing with things, even though I was thinking about it in depth every week, I started having fewer and fewer flashbacks, likely because every time I met with my therapist she was able to give me something new and constructive to use to handle them.
The one thing I want to stress based on your comment, though, is that it would be absolutely wrong of your friends and family to let you think you're hurting them by getting the help you need. You don't owe them your sanity.
You haven't ruined anyone's life. The perpetrator is in the wrong, not you. And I would like to insert a big HUG here for telling about the abuse at all. I think this is a good place for support.
Flashbacks are not dangerous. In fact, they mean to be helpful in getting your attention so you can face them and process them--when you do that they eventually recede.
It's important that you educate yourself on the impact of abuse in your life. The Courage to Heal by Bass & Davis, and Resurrection After Rape by Matt Atkinson are two possibilities you may want to check out. Both books have a lot of information straight from survivors.
You said you fear you'll "...hurt your family even more." Does this mean you've told them? It's kind of you to be concerned, however, never put yourself at the end of the line because you are every bit as important as any one of your family members.
And yes, it may be disruptive for a while because most people simply do not want to face it, but do not lose sight of the fact that this was something done to you--it is NOT who you are.
Sexual abuse wounds people. Give yourself all the time you need to heal the wound(s) because you can heal with hard work.
I admire you for coming forward and applaud the one who told the camp counselor; that took courage. It tells me you can do this--one step at a time.
xx
SuzA