I want to comfort you by telling you that you're not alone. You're not. I've been in your situation, only the flashbacks came sooner for me. I blamed myself for trusting my boyfriend's friend. I knew I couldn't trust him, but I never thought he'd be such an ass. He knew I'd never consent so he drugged me and raped me. Fuck head. Now that I look back, there are just EVIL people in the world. We have to protect ourselves and follow our instincts. Fuck them.

As for your family...oh dear...I totally understand. I wish I can say it will be easy to tell them. Although, I didn't recall everything I told my mother about a year after. I felt I just had to tell her. I felt she needed to know, but she reacted poorly. She blamed me. She was angry and disappointed with me. In other words, she made me feel like shit. Trust me, being raped was bad enough, but having that reaction was even worse.

My suggestion...if you do tell your family, brace yourself for the reaction. I hope it's not negative like mine, but it may not be the kind of sympathetic, supportive reaction you'd anticipate. I'd say to wait until you feel emotionally ready.

Remember...you are NOT at fault. If a man can't control his "urges" than he's nothing more than an animal. He had no right to violate you. From the sounds of it he gave you a rather strong dose of drugs. Know that you are NOT at fault. What you are feeling now is normal and healthy. You are human.

I send you a virtual hug. Hang in there. =)

Also...I'm here if you want to share more... =)

Be kind to yourself, none of this is your fault. I would suggest seeking proffessional help and tell your family when you believe you're ready. Get yourself some counselling so you can talk to someone who won't judge you and who can help you come up with some strategies to help you cope. Most of remember that you are not alone and to give yourself lots of time and tenderness. You are amazing for coping with this.

thank you. its nice to know im not alone. it seems like i can never get away from the guys, cuz THEY are always around. but thank you

I would hope there is a government funded counseling service you can use. The first question you need to ask is."If I tell you something, will you have to report that I am there to my parents and will you tell what I say to my parents.. another could be, if someone tells you they were forcably raped two years ago do you need to tell the police.

I agree with the response which said you can wait to tell your parents until when ever your are ready. I will add that at your age, you are not required to answer every question a boyfriend asks. At the moment it is totally your business. It is no one elses business.

You do not have to be specific when telling your parents. A counselor can give you advice on whether or not you should name your attacker to anyone. You counselor can probably be of more help if you tell more, rather than less, to the counselor.

Sometimes it is easier for us to write down what happened and give that written statement to the counselor. The counseling center may want to give you a long test in order to try to determine what all the effects may be for you..

I would hope there is a government funded counseling service you can use. The first question you need to ask is."If I tell you something, will you have to report that I am there to my parents and will you tell what I say to my parents.. another could be, if someone tells you they were forcably raped two years ago do you need to tell the police.

I agree with the response which said you can wait to tell your parents until when ever your are ready. I will add that at your age, you are not required to answer every question a boyfriend asks. At the moment it is totally your business. It is no one elses business.

You do not have to be specific when telling your parents. A counselor can give you advice on whether or not you should name your attacker to anyone. You counselor can probably be of more help if you tell more, rather than less, to the counselor.

Sometimes it is easier for us to write down what happened and give that written statement to the counselor. The counseling center may want to give you a long test in order to try to determine what all the effects may be for you..

I would hope there is a government funded counseling service you can use. The first question you need to ask is."If I tell you something, will you have to report that I am there to my parents and will you tell what I say to my parents.. another could be, if someone tells you they were forcably raped two years ago do you need to tell the police.

I agree with the response which said you can wait to tell your parents until when ever your are ready. I will add that at your age, you are not required to answer every question a boyfriend asks. At the moment it is totally your business. It is no one elses business.

You do not have to be specific when telling your parents. A counselor can give you advice on whether or not you should name your attacker to anyone. You counselor can probably be of more help if you tell more, rather than less, to the counselor.

Sometimes it is easier for us to write down what happened and give that written statement to the counselor. The counseling center may want to give you a long test in order to try to determine what all the effects may be for you..

thanks, and i dont mind telling Kris what happened, its just trying to find the words. im good at describing things. i told my one friend and she puked

The flashbacks are common. Over time they will come back as your mind becomes stronger at acknowledging what happened. Find a few people that you know you can trust and confide in them.
It sounds like you're already opening up some. But telling your parents can be tricky as it is all to common to have a bad reaction. Let your bf know that something serious happened and that it may take you a while to find the courage to tell. But anybody worth anything will never pressure you to reavel something before you're ready. And I'm sure that anybody on here would also be more than willing to be an ear if you need one.
Don't be afraid cause you're not alone. Abuse is way to common but it often goes silent because of the fear and shame. Remember that the silence is abuse's greatest weapon.