Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
My two younger siblings and I were raised in an incredibly abusive household. Unlike me, however, my mother shielded my brother and sister from my father's physical and sexual abuse. They have always existed in their own little clique and even when we were together they would speak and act as though I wasn't even present. Needless to say, I dropped all communication with my father about four years ago, and hit the final straw with my mother about two years ago. My siblings, as always, went with her. I was never close with any of my aunts on my mother's side and have no communication with anyone from my father's side of the family. However, the past few years I have started to communicate briefly with one of my maternal aunts via Facebook. Apparently, everyone on that side of the family sort of knew, in one way or another, that things weren't quite right at my childhood house. The aunt that Ive renewed relations with shows support for me, but as soon as I need to talk about childhood stuff, she just shuts off the conversation. Basically, no one really knows what happened in that house, and the secrets are eating me up. Because I've in one way or another exiled myself from the family without giving much explanation to anyone else, my mother has taken the opportunity to fill in the gaps with god-knows-what. My aunt posts things on FB all the time like "stop blaming your parents and take responsibility for your life." Im a responsible, accomplished person, so that's not the issue. But Im really offended by this attitude because it really lets people off the hook for terrible behavior and offers a shield for others to hide behind, especially if they should have been there to help. Moreover, it really shuts down conversation about what happened, and I really think that communication could help me heal. I am locked in this tell-dont-tell dilemma and carry an itch to just divorce all of them entirely, even my semi-supportive aunt, who is really the only family I have left. Its the holidays now and all these wounds are incredibly raw.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
I told my psychiatrist and therapist everything. Everything about what was going on, how I felt about it, the fact my first instinct was to protect myself, and everything else that was on my mind. It helped. It helped a lot. My therapist didn't tell me what to do. She listened as an objective observer and just having her summarize things and parrot them back to me has helped me heal. I can't really describe the feeling. Talking about it in therapy gave me a special kind of clarity and helped me make good, solid decisions.
Do you feel comfortable enough with your therapist to tell him / her what you just posted in this discussion topic?
I guess there's really no road map out there for how to be a family with abuse and incest in its midst. How do you acknowledge that and still be a family? "The family" is like a living organism, and when our words, our truth, threaten the organism we are ejected and labeled "diseased". That's the harsh truth more often than not. If your own mother won't stand by you, it's unlikely anyone else will.
I'm sorry to be such a downer. I am a coward - I have never openly discussed this with my family, but I've paid the price in a lifetime of depression. Please do whatever you need to do to heal. You will find plenty of support here, and hopefully elsewhere in your family. Sadly, I wouldn't hold out much hope for you family.
Writing this, it just occurred to me to wonder about the younger generation. I wonder if any of them are being abused. You might want to offer a bridge to them should any of them ever show signs of wanting to talk.
Ultimately, Sex Addiction is a motherf**ker and the reality is that Sex Addiction craves power and control; hence the targeting of Children.
You're better off without your Family. They seem like poison.