Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Hello everyone:
Sorry if I offend anyone, but I was watching CNN and felt really somewhat offended that a "Top Movie Star" (Charlize Theron) says that being swamped by journalists all the time is "like being raped". Obviously she has not been sexually abused, or the journalists are a LOT worse than what it seems.
Personally, I have enjoyed several movies she has been in, but really!?! Perhaps is she were to stop showing up at red carpet events wearing gowns that cost more than the average middle class earner makes in a year, stops giving interviews to tabloids as if she is some authority on anything beside being an actress (why do we think a few years in front of a camera gives a person special insight and wisdom?), perhaps if she were to "dress down", not place herself in front of journalists when she WANTS attention - basically be a normal human being - perhaps then she would not be swamped all the time by journalists.
I remember Kathrine Hepburn - when she was not making movies, she led a rather isolated and "normal" life....she shunned all the publicity hounds and just lived.
Maybe adopting that sort of life would keep a person from being "traumatized" in such an obviously scarring fashion!
Sorry if this is a rant - because I know it is. But I think this rather spoiled "movie star" attitude, which leads a person to making such an obviously uninformed statement, is just ridiculous and another way to attract attention.
As a survivor of sexual abuse, I would LOVE to trade the inconvenience of having my life documented or having trade-papers seeking me out all the time for a photo-op, rather than have been raped.
Uninformed, uncaring, selfish and terribly off the mark in my opinion.
Oh, yeah - her remark has brought more attention to her as I said - was the reason she made it?
Yes, I am sure it is an inconvenience to have to trip over photographers when you want to go outside, but again - would trade my sexual abuse with her inconvenience anytime.
"Raped" - not by a long shot.
Feel better now - All my best!
Refuse2quit
Sorry if I offend anyone, but I was watching CNN and felt really somewhat offended that a "Top Movie Star" (Charlize Theron) says that being swamped by journalists all the time is "like being raped". Obviously she has not been sexually abused, or the journalists are a LOT worse than what it seems.
Personally, I have enjoyed several movies she has been in, but really!?! Perhaps is she were to stop showing up at red carpet events wearing gowns that cost more than the average middle class earner makes in a year, stops giving interviews to tabloids as if she is some authority on anything beside being an actress (why do we think a few years in front of a camera gives a person special insight and wisdom?), perhaps if she were to "dress down", not place herself in front of journalists when she WANTS attention - basically be a normal human being - perhaps then she would not be swamped all the time by journalists.
I remember Kathrine Hepburn - when she was not making movies, she led a rather isolated and "normal" life....she shunned all the publicity hounds and just lived.
Maybe adopting that sort of life would keep a person from being "traumatized" in such an obviously scarring fashion!
Sorry if this is a rant - because I know it is. But I think this rather spoiled "movie star" attitude, which leads a person to making such an obviously uninformed statement, is just ridiculous and another way to attract attention.
As a survivor of sexual abuse, I would LOVE to trade the inconvenience of having my life documented or having trade-papers seeking me out all the time for a photo-op, rather than have been raped.
Uninformed, uncaring, selfish and terribly off the mark in my opinion.
Oh, yeah - her remark has brought more attention to her as I said - was the reason she made it?
Yes, I am sure it is an inconvenience to have to trip over photographers when you want to go outside, but again - would trade my sexual abuse with her inconvenience anytime.
"Raped" - not by a long shot.
Feel better now - All my best!
Refuse2quit
What the hell? No. Just no. Paying for a car epair is NOT GETTING RAPED!!!!
I should have spoken up but I didn't. I look at this woman differently now. No , rape is not paying too much for something.
Yeah, Theron doesn't know any better, I don't think.
Makes me lose some respect for her.
And if you don't want the attention? Actors like Paul Newman and Harrison FOrd left the Hollywood scene (liviing in CT and WY respectively) and gee, no houding photogs....
Sorry, this hits nerves with me. I hate how "rape" is suddenly this "catchy" term. It completely lessens the truth of our experiences.
Sorry to post when not a member, but as I said, hot button, couldn't not post. Thanks for your patience.
I am glad that others see this as I do....yes, being hounded by photog's and journalists has to be nerve-wracking - but hardly on teh same par as raped.
My partner tells me she has caught a lot of flack from women's and survivor's groups over this comment, and I know that she made this comment some time back, so it is not new "news" necessarily, but CNN had some blurb about it today and in it they show Ms Theron on a "red carpet" event welcoming all the attention she could get at the time.....so, again, such popularity is not something you can just turn on when you want it and then off when it is inconvenient.
But to be ignorant enough to trivialize sexual abuse is NOT my idea of good P.R.....
Yeah, I don't really climb on soap boxes a lot, but there are times that I just hear such stupidity on the airwaves that it ticks me off...so yeah, I have the full range of emotions like most all of us do. But, it usually takes a lot to really offend me - and this was one of "back breaking straws" - ya know?
I realize she is not the first to make such statements based in ignorance, but when the people that so many look up to say such things in a public forums, it just makes it harder to get others to really see the true severity and gravity of sexual abuse / rape.
And I too have lost some respect for this actress - as an actress she has been very good in some movies, but as a spokesperson, not so much.
Thanks for listening
Refuse2quit
Whether you are a "member" of this forum, I myself welcome anyone that uses respect and understanding when posting, so not apologies are needed on my part - and I doubt if others minds too much either.
As for me - welcome and keep "lurking" or just jump right in!
Refuse2quit
I get it's offensive but, I see people battle semantics and political correctness and put so much energy into it but has little effect to really help. In this case promote awareness, effect change, up lift the suffering, and stop an abuse before it happens.
When you speak to others your packaging the message. This is called a meme. You want to see the message about people hurting from their rape. You want to give yourself and others a voice. Taking this approach with your packaging will not reach the masses. It will blend into the noise of all the other people going political correct and turn them of before the content reaches their minds and has a chance to cause effect.
We only have so much energy in a day. Use your efforts wisely! If your hurting focus on restoring yourself because you deserve this effort and are worthy of full complete restoration. When you fully restored people's none sense will have little emotional control on you.
If your healed and ready to fight back infuse wisdom to the battles and tactics you use.
Take the opportunity to think about how you want to package your message because memes don't care about the message your trying to sell they only care about causing another person to duplicate it and reproduce its message from the next person to the next person. Often good messages that will be fit mankind don't replicate because the message is not packaged correctly to reach the masses.
Crafty people who are artist of manipulation often sell their message over and over because the packaged it just right and it triggers on built in buzz words that initial grab at another's attention and illuminate it among all the noise.
Where as people with really good uplifting and important things to say often feel well the message is pure it's honest and good for people I don't need to add any fluff let it stand as it is. Your message gets rejected because it's packaged with brown bag and fads into the dull background.
What I am saying plainly is this approach to get this one person to say their sorry or retract it will take so much energy and for what? Use people's ignorance to reflect a positive turn.
We need more people's awareness and the programs and services that are in placed advertised. We need it out there for victims they are not alone and were here for them. We need new parents getting a education of how to make their children hard targets. We need potential parental figures facing their pain from their youth and going for full restoration so they can break the cycle.
We are an army we have many powerful restored people among us we have many injured warriors recovering here but get them on their feet and we got one more powerful force to effect change. Let's fight the battles that have the best chance to promote restoration and how great would it be to grant one child, just one kid a healthy childhood?Where we helped his/her parents heal and they broke the cycle and this child will never feel the pain that we do. Never experience the betrayal and the unfounded guilt that many of us do here. That their sexuality gets to manifest in a heathy way boy and girl meet. Boy and girl build a loving relationship. Boy and girl share themselves intimately with no hang ups or melding history trying to haunt them and steal that joy.......
I just feel this is our battle not to fight about the word and who is using it callously. Take that opportunity to have a conversation and flip it get people woken up in a positive way to what's going on!
I think I understand what you are saying and I do agree that most of our energy should be spent in assisting others directly,,,,,but personally I think that, for myself, I have enough energy to voice my opinion about how such "celebrities" need to stop trivializing the act of rape by applying it so liberally to situations that hardly have the effects that the word implies. I understand that you think we are trying to be "too politically correct" but in reality it has nothing to do with politics or even sensitivity to certain words. It's the act that is implied when such words are mis-used and thus robbed of the severity of the crime that it is.
So again, in my opinion, I AM helping others by calling someone out for minimizing the traumatic effects that are brought about by the ILLEGAL act of rape - journalists that are doing their job within the law are NOT RAPING someone. They are trying to get their job done and if Ms. Theron feels so strongly about such, she should withdraw from her profession or change her lifestyle. Many of us have had to do such due to the fact that we WERE raped, not simply hounded by media "professionals".
Really I think that letting others get by with such callous usage of the terms of sexual abuse make it easier for others to view the act of molesting someone as a "funny" or "no big deal". Such acts have ruined so many lives, to me it is like saying that being hounded by journalists is comparable to "living through the Holocost" or "being a victim of ethnic cleansing" - it is neither funny, humorous or to be treated with anything but respect and sensitivity.
Sorry, but IMO it is just wrong for these statements to be thrown around so easily - we have a hard enough time in getting law enforcement and prosecutors to take such acts seriously in the first place. Maybe I seem too sensitive, but I am a social worker so being sensitive to the feelings of others sort of comes with the territory....and also, as a survivor, it just plain pisses me off - period.
And I do invest a lot of energy to helping others - both on this forum and volunteering to work with sexual abuse victims and their parents whenever and however I can. I can actually do both - provide direct service and let others know that "rape" is a serious issue - not to taken, or spoken of, lightly.
Just my opinion, and with respect to your perspective, I think we can be TOO politically correct at times, but this is not one of those times. I just think it was a stupid comparison and adds to the public view that "rape" is not really that bad of an issue.
More of my few cents!!
All my best, as always,
Refuse2quit
I think for a lot of people it is a lack of vocabulary that leads to words being used horrifically out of context.
Sorry to go on, but this is an issue close to my heart.
I believe theyre trying to explain how...traumatic their experience is...not realizing that, HELLO, REAL LIVE PEOPLE have ACTUALLY experienced that VERY traumatic "event".
not sure im explaining it well...I very much understand your anger and frustration. It is very much rational in every way. People are just ignorant...say things before thinking...they know not what they do.
I have contradicting thoughts on celebrities n the media....so I'll stop here...