All I do nearly all night is lay there think about what my abuser dd to me and what he made me do to him, and if I do fall asleep I have vivid nightmares about what he did to me. It had got to point where I am really scared to go to sleep incase I have a nightmare. I am just feeling so lost an scared I just don't how to get past this feeling of worthlessnss like all I am good for is being abused. I mean there must have been something about me growing up that made him think yes I will abuse her because she would be too scared to tell anyone what wad going on and he was right. I mean my own dad was using me as a punching bag and abusing me he may not have touched me sexaully but he made see him with no clothes on when he wanted me to wash his back. Because of this abuse I have very big trust issues, I am angry all the time I don't want to feel like this but it is so hard just getting up in the mornings that I have thought about ending all so this nightmare I am living would end I am in such a mess at the moment I may think about ending it all but I would never act on it. My mum just don't get that that abuse may have been a long time ago but it still haunts me every single day and she tells me to forget about and move on but how do I tell her it is not that simple and besides she doesnt even believe me.