Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Shlay 03/04/2013

It's 17 days until my wedding, my soon to be wife has been so supporting and kind no matter what, when it comes to sex.

But 99.7% of the time I can not get release. We got a new toy today to try, and I still couldn't due to flashbacks and random jumbled thoughts. I was crying while she was trying (I'm a lesbian), but I told her it just felt so good I was crying.

I feel so broken and alone... Does this happen to anyone else?

I'm so scared I'll be like this forever.

I don't want to break down in front of her... but I feel so angry about my own body. I get so close, then I get a flash of something terrible that has happened in my life, and I lose all pleasure and have to start all over again... I feel like a freak.

freakchick3175 03/05/2013

Unfortunately flash backs are a symptom that many of us suffer and as of yet, I haven't found a way to make them go away. I have them often when I am giving my bf oral... I start gagging bad and almost throwing up on him. Usually I just stop and take deep breaths while I remind myself that I'm safe and with the man I love... Till it passes then I resume. I don't know how much help that is to you, but sometimes acceptance is the key... Understanding that these will always be with you. Understanding that it's not your fault. And remembering that your in a safe place with the one you love and that despite what we were forced to believe and feel about sex, that when we engage with our love,,it can be a beautiful and fulfilling experience

deleted_user 03/05/2013

First, thing is to plrase stop pressuring you and your body to preform this task. It is self abusive to be this demanding. It sounds renenacting like a perp. This is not helping to change or make it better.
Second, I did breakdown after o ing. He was loving and patient and kind about it. He held me for the few minutes until it passed. He let it be ok for this to happen. Soon I no longer cried afterwards.
Third, the crying is a symptom of deeper issues that were not addressed. There is a lot of pent up shame, anger and hurt going on. All of this will not go away before you soon get married. The only thing that relieves this is therapy. I wish I had better news on that one.

deleted_user 03/05/2013

Please stop is what I tried to say.

Please keep in touch. Please stay in the recovery from sexual abuse loop.
Take care

Shlay 03/06/2013

Thank your for the support. I took an anxiety pill last night before bed, but *I didn't end up going to sleep* Finally, I was able to enjoy the experience with minimal flashbacks, and was able to reach the end goal.

I don't want to have to take my anxiety meds just so I can make love to my wife.

It's all so confusing and hurts so much. She is very understanding when I tell her to stop. Sometimes I even yell "STOP" so I don't get a full blown panic attack from a flashback. She holds me while I cry and also understands what it's like to be abused... But not to sound harsh, but it was one time for her... my abuse went on for years.

I am in therapy, I've written letters, I tried to Facebook the person that abused me... I left him a message and he never responded. I just need closure.

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