Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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vickycarter 09/19/2008

i was sexually abused as a child.

but here's the thing, i have fanatsies invovling abuse, and really get off on it.

i feel disgusting. dont know why i have these thoughts. i have never spoken about it with anyone.

am i sick?

deleted_user 09/19/2008

No...you are not alone. Many of us has fused the abuse with sexual pleasure. Some have what is called a repetition compulsion where they want to repeat the abuse over and over again until they learn to deal with it. While this is very hard on a survivor, these feelings can be worked thru. There is no reason to feel shame or guilt about these thoughts.

deleted_user 09/19/2008

indigonight is right. This is pretty normal for a survivor. You are not sick. You were abused. It screws with us in so many ways and this is one of them. In "The Courage to Heal" there is a section about this very issue. You are not disgusting. You are a survivor working on your recovery. You'll get throguh this.

Good luck and please be gentle with yourself. (((HUG)))

deleted_user 09/19/2008

No you aren't sick--
Lots of surviviors are the same way.

deleted_user 09/19/2008

I used to do the exact same thing every time I had sex. I didn't even notice what I was doing till my late 20s.

So no you are not sick nor are you alone in feeling this ways!!

deleted_user 09/19/2008

NO you are not sick. I have had these fantasies and have spoken to others who were abused who have had the same thing. You are not alone in this and will probably be surprised at the number who will tell you so. DS has helped me heaps in finding out that I am not alone in some of the things I have felt. Chin up and Lots of hugs

deleted_user 09/19/2008

You're not disgusting at all...I think about the same thing sometimes and it makes me feel horrible about myself, but everyone says it's normal for someone who's been abused, that it's just because your first sexual experiences were abusive.

sadave46 09/20/2008

No you are not sick. It is more common than you know....try not to beat yourself up over it ...

deleted_user 09/20/2008

No. I have that too.

I have read that because of abuse, a person can grow up overlapping or merging pleasure, pain, fear, etc.- because that was the person's introduction to sexuality.

I agree that this is probably more common than many people realize, because it is so uncomfortable for most people to discuss.

But rest assured there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

deleted_user 09/28/2008

i have the same thing and i dont know how to deal with it

deleted_user 09/28/2008

It happens to me too. You are not sick. You are simply chained to events that happened and it's difficult to be otherwise. You are a survivor. As Indigonight said, ' ... these feelings can be worked thru. There is no reason to feel shame or guilt about these thoughts.' I agree wholeheartedly.

Keeping you on my mind and in my thoughts.

peace and love ... Kyle Anne

deleted_user 09/29/2008

i have and still am feeling this same way ...i still fantasize about all the harsh things i could have done to me when being sexual with someone so when i read this it made me feel more normal..and thanks again i do have the courage to heal book and i never knew this was in there so i learned something new

deleted_user 09/30/2008

No you are not sick, you may need therapy to help you understand why you have this. It is not uncommon for abused to fantasise about abuse, rough sex, rape etc. That does not make them sick it is that is the way most were introduced to sex, and why alot of us end up in therapy of some kind.It is only when we act on them that we need urgent help. GoodLuck. I hope you find the answers you seek.

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