I want revenge for my abuser! I think we get to angry that we want our abuser killed. To be honest with you, I can not wait till my abuser dies. He is doing so well financially, while I am on Social Security bearly living on nothing. I do not know what is going on in his head. I guess we want the abuser to go cause we are in a lot of pain cause of what he/she put us through. We want the pain to go away and be done with the abuser. I hope that helps!!

You're really, justifiably angry.
It's pretty normal to fantasize about killing your assailant.

You are not a monster!!! You are just hurt.


When i was 15 i put raid and scotch guard in my grandfather's coffee. Was is a healthy thing to do? No. Did it fix anything? No. Was it a mature thing to do? No. Was is a smart thing to do? Probably not. Did it feel good? YES!!!!!!!!!. I have to add he didnt die from it but it felt good at the time like.... justification but it wasnt true justification it was just my anger.

You are no more of a monster than i am.

Paige.

You are not a monster. The socially acceptable definitions of discipline, justice, and revenge, change with time. In a different time period, I could have maybe shot my abuser without facing jail time. Some killers are heroes and some killers are murderers; this has all been defined for us. Had I any power over the definition of such words, I would not consider killing my abuser anything but justice. I could never kill for money, for personal advancement, or for jealousy; but I see those as completely different issues. I think that some people deserve death for what they've done, but that isn't my choice to make, fortunately for them. There are laws.

I do it all the time. you are not a monster, just as long as those thoughts stay thoughts.

Hang in there.

i have thought about it many times..i even planned it out..but i write about it a lot in my books and poems..that helps me let off some steam..but if i seen them again..no telling what i would do..i get angry about it a lot..so im with you..

I have been dealing with my blinding rage at g*d for the years of abuse I went through. I was molested in a church. Many others were as well. Why did not g*d jump off that cross and beat his @$$.
I was recently reading a booket on abuse. It talked about how feelings like anger can side track the real issue. It finally accured to me that I spent years pissed off at g*d and not the criminal that did. I really had liked the person that did it. The anger caused me never to deal with the big feelings of the pedipile that did it. When I came to process that, I felt 100 lbs lighter.

I've thought of murder so many times, in many and varied ways... i think that's normal.
however, it's different to think vs act.
I actually forgave my abuser long ago. I realized that things are not black and white, AND it's empowering to me to make that choice.
Oh, and your abuser is not worth the lose YOU'd suffer for committing murder.
And most importantly :-) You could only do it once.
Sorry, I have a dark sense of humor

No, you are not a monster, You have natural feelings from the abuse, At least, that's what I think. I've planned murder of paedophiles. but the more I think about acting on it, the more disturbed I get. One night, I was again thinking I'd HAVE to kill some paedophiles, it's my duty, and I rang some people for help. It didn't relieve my anger, which just seemed to get stronger, So I thought 'oh, why don't I hand it over?' So I thought 'it's up to you, god, what I do.' Well, the energy drained out of my anger, and I was left in a state of peace.

I agree. it is perfectly natural. i was very young and wanted my abuser to die. i didnt envisage killing them i think i was perhaps a bit too young.

As i got older i wanted to hurt them very much and would fantasisie about doing so, but i never did.

Now, nearly 40 years later, i realise the thingthat would have hurt them most was to tell people, but i was frightened t the time and didnt reallly undestand.

You are no monster, you are being totally human.

I wanted my most violent perpetrator to die. The problem is that he really did. I was only 6 years old. Of course I thought it was my fault. I wanted him dead. At the funeral, I was not sad. I had to watch the others mourning to see what to do. I was relieved. I felt like the monster.

I was raped at 13 and as a result I became pregnant a year after Fluerette was born He killed himself and that was one of the best things that ever happend I felt like it was justice and I'm not the type to be happy over a persons death as for my other abuser some days I still want to go back to him and other I wish he was dead

I did kill mine....theoretically. He has never apologized, nor admitted, nor anything. He just replaced his sons and daughter with a new family and put us in the round file. I later disowned him when his other son died. My sister only recently put him in the garbage can like I have.

Killing them is a finality, even if its theoretically I got allot of closure, though I didn't really deal with it until much, much later. I just don't care to do anything to him, he already did enough damage to f*** me up for life, I can only repair what was done by not allowing it to ruin my life anymore than it has already.

Mine was driving a cab in New Orleans a few years back.
3 guys robbed him, forced him to drive to an isolated location, beat him and stabbed him about 15 times...They discussed chopping him into pieces too, but they did not.
Amazingly enough, the SOB lived. He was expected to leave the ICU in a body bag by the docs.
Now he has to live with this beat-up, pain-riddled, morbidly obese old body, in a world where the few people who give a crap about his existence don't even like him very much.

...Wow, that just warms the cockles of my heart to think about...

Nope your not a monster. I have thought about this alot. especally since im still friends with his gf, and her kids. I totally understand. if you ever wanna talk, message me.