I am so sorry that this is happening in your family. I hope everyone who needs therapy is now in therapy - yourself included. I also hope that you can leave him soon as it sounds like that may be what you want to do.

I am sure he is denying everything and his argument probably sounds very good and believable. I am glad you believe your daughter instead of him though. So many children, even adult children, are not believed. I am also glad you are spending so much time with your daughter. If she isn't working with a therapist please try to get her to go to one. She can heal from what has happened and she deserves to heal. You also deserve to heal.

I believe you have already found the board for parents of children who have been sexually abused but if not here is the link https://www.dailystrength.org/group/parents-whose-children-have-been-sexually-abused

I really am so sorry for what is happening to your family. ((Hugs))

Eeyore, I am so sorry this has happened. It is so very hard to believe that someone we love could do this to our children. I still have a hard time knowing my brother, whom I loved so much could have abused my daughter at the age of 4. But we do have to accept it as truth no matter how hard it is. No matter how many questions we ask ourselves over and over and the guilt we feel that we could not protect our child. I pray you and your daughter are in therapy, it will help. Sending love and blessings to you.

Thank you both for your replies. We are both in therapy and think it helps but nothing helps with the shock of realising someone you have loved for 21 years isn't the person you thought he was :( I desperately want to hate him but struggling with how to do this. The more I read on here and in books I see things from the survivors side and realise he has done this to my baby which really hurts xx
Thinking about you both xx