It is still getting picked at by the sound of it. I am truly sorry that this has happened to you. The best I know that you can do is to get away as soon as you can. Stay around others that you know will protect you. Carry some kind of defense. Pepper spray and such. Take defense classes. And tell others. That's an abusers biggest weapon; the silence.
If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone let me know and I will try to help:)

It sounds like you're in a lot of pain. I'm so sorry. I don't know the details of your situation but I hope you will reach out for help and support. Depression is very often treatable with a combination of counseling and medication. Wishing you peace of mind.

Thanks guys but defense isn't easy when your family knows and still allows the man in the house and if i do something then i get in trouble because he goes and tells on me i can't win

What do they do when you get in trouble? I think one type of trouble might be better than the other. But it depends on what they do to you. It sounds like a sibling. And what exactly is he going to tell on you for?!

Either way it all ends the same way me fighting, usually they will tell me to go do something and leave them alone so i get isolated. Its my cousin

And your parents know everything?! Is there anywhere else you can stay for the summer?

They know but are in denial, i've told them before but they don't know how to handle it i guess it has happened to my mother too when she was younger :( they say they don't want to hear it

Wow. I'd really try to sit her down and talk to her. Denial doesn't make anything go away. Maybe you could get to your mom. Maybe drop hints somehow that makes her ask herself does she want a repeat of her past.
Do you have a therapist or doctor or priest or professor you can plan an intervention with? You seem really strong about this. And remember, if all else fails, go for the crotch. Really really hard.

She wouldn't go nor listen and i have hit him in the crotch but when he gets mad its worst for me if he does win. And honestly its now messing with everyday life cause i can't get it out of my mind now that the summer is almost here and when i think about it my anxiety goes crazy

Are there abuse shelters anywhere near that you can get to? Have you talked to any authorities about this?

I can't talk to the authorities i'll be disowned by my family my family believes we protect our own and to accuse will get you shutdown and iI went threw that when I first told :(

I can't talk to the authorities i'll be disowned by my family my family believes we protect our own and to accuse will get you shutdown and iI went threw that when I first told :(

I can't talk to the authorities i'll be disowned by my family my family believes we protect our own and to accuse will get you shutdown and iI went threw that when I first told :(

I can't talk to the authorities i'll be disowned by my family my family believes we protect our own and to accuse will get you shutdown and iI went threw that when I first told :(

I can't talk to the authorities i'll be disowned by my family my family believes we protect our own and to accuse will get you shutdown and iI went threw that when I first told :(