My suggestion for you is to seek therapy or counseling for yourself, as this situation seems to weigh heavily on you. A counselor could help you deal with your friend's situation and the feeling of responsibility you have for her.

By the way, as long as your friend is not currently being abused by her brother and is not currently in danger, I don't think that a counselor would be obliged to report it or that her brother would go to prison. I think the mandatory reporting laws are meant to protect people from present dangers, not avenge past wrongs. But I am not completely sure. A counselor could tell you.

I was in a similar situation a few months ago. My uncle is my abuser and I didn't even know what happened was molestation until a few years ago. I did NOT want to tell my family. I would've rather died than tell them because I thought I would "ruin" everything. A few months ago I had a mental breakdown and started therapy for the second time for the same issue. I did NOT want to go. The only reason I went was because that's what my doctors and my family wanted me to do. They gave me a choice; see a therapist or be hospitalized.

When I started therapy I was determined not to talk about it or confront my parents about it... three weeks later I almost took my life. That was my wakeup call; if I don't deal with this, it will literally kill me. Now, I've been working it out with my therapist and practicing what I want to say to my parents. I've done a total 180.

Your friend needs her wakeup call, and that's not something you can give her. She's going to have to be the one to reach out for help. Telling her story of what happened is her right, not yours. The best thing you can do for her is just be there for moral support and reassure her that you have her back for when she's ready to deal with it. Because in one way or another, she'll have to.

I agree with donnawanda though, it would be a good idea for you to see a counselor. Also, when I told my therapist what my uncle did to me, she didn't report him. But that may be because I'm an adult.

Can i ask if she is a child or adult? This matters cos if shes a classed as a adult she can talk to someone about it and it not get told to the police because no one is currently in danger. If she is classed as a child it may be reported to the police however it doesnt necisarily mean he is sent to prision. Unless he admitted to it there would be very little evidence and sadly wont get punished.
I agree u too need to seek support for urself.

I have been through and still am going through this situation. She needs to make the first step you can’t force her to get help she has to come to terms with it before she can get assistance from a professional. I went through a lot of therapy but still the scars remain. She is probably embarrassed about it and trusted you to listen. Don’t push the issue offer to go with her to counseling if she wants too. Ask her what you can do for her not what you think you should do. Makes sense?!?

Perhaps you can tell her about this great website you found where she can speak with and connect with other people who have been through similar things. It can help a lot just to converse with other survivors. There are also hotlines she can call for anonymous help. Perhaps the book, "Courage to Heal." There are small steps she can take until she is ready and able to speak with a therapist.

Also, I think it is okay to be concerned about your friend's well being. :)

Thank you for all the comments! First off, I’ll say I have spoken to my school counselor about this, though with problems like this one that my friend has, that has only been so much help -.-“

Also, because someone asked, she is a child–14 years old. She was even younger when she was abused. I’ll also add that I have told her about this website; I even set up an account for her. However, she has been conditioned to believe she must deal with things as severe as even sexual abuse and trauma herself. It is because of this mentality that I have been reluctant to just wait for her to fix herself.

What’s worse, she has a few mental disorders that affect her perception of things (depression and bipolar disorder, to be exact). With those disorders driving her train of thought, it terrifies me to think what damage she could be doing to herself (to top it off, she has tried talking to her parents about things. They yell at her. As for counselors, I think she’s worried about being suspended from school, then getting in trouble with her parents.)