Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...


I can empathize with your description of how you feel and relate to it. What helped me and others here was finding a qualified therapist to treat the trauma of survivors of abuse.
There are centers who provide free consultations for survivors of abuse, I suggest you check that.
You should not stay with this forever, things can get better for you and you can move on from this.
This is a place where you can share as much or as little as you like. Whatever you're going through, whatever you've been through, you will find fellowship here.
Do you know about "derealization" as a symptom of psychological disturbance? I think we've all experienced it to one extent or another. As others have said, it will get better with time and therapy or counseling.
Don't give up! That's the main thing.