Hey Cecil, I'm so sorry you've been let down so very much.
Your psychiatrist was offensive and wrong with his stupid question. Your husband was offensive too. And all the people who stood by - should be deeply ashamed of themselves.
I hope you don't give up completely, and think that no one will ever support you, validate you, and care for your healing. There are good people out there, or on this site.
It seems you are hurting terribly at this time - my thoughts are with you.
I was sexually abused as a child, and never got help. I told my parents about it when I was 11, and was angrily rejected and never helped.
The first counsellor I told about the abuse when I was 23 was totally invalidating and offensive.
All of this made it so much worse. the next person who validated my abuse was a male counsellor, who, after 2 years of trusting him, made a pass at me.
But, there were a few good counsellors.
then, in detox, I was shamed about it and accused of 'dining' off the abuse.
Then, I finally met some great people - my psychologist for 24 years, the women at Rape Crisis phone line, nurses, psychiatrists. I'm so glad I was able to reach out...again.

(((hugs Cecil)))

I am so very sorry... when it got to the part about your husband... sorry I am just lost for words and tears are in my eyes

for those that knew and did nothing.... they are with worst kind of people possible..... I don't know if you felt like me but I ended up feeling that I wasn't worthy of being helped at all

the psychiatrist was a moron... some people can't face the reality of sexual abuse so they have to minimalise it for their own peace of mind ... or deny it completely .. so we can end up denying it happened too... and that causes many problems in later life too

I'm with nelliefay.... please don't give up completely.... there are good people out there who care and can help us heal.... I also wonder where I would be if ONLY ONE person had helped me.... just ONE... my life would have been totally different... I would be a totally different person.... but I am who I am... and on good days that ain't such a bad thing

I fully believe it's never too late xx

It's never too late! I'm the same age and I still have some grieving to do. i tried that, stuffing it down, forget it and move on, it found it's way back out. I bit me in the ass big time and forced me to bite back.
It sounds like you need a bit of a breather, a little time to recharge and regroup. It also sounds like no ones in your corner, in the physical, except one, that one you you see in the mirror, the one that has soo much to lose, yet the one that has soo much to gain also. Recharge, regroup and bite back! We're ll here for you...

I'm just angry, frustrated and feeling sorry for myself. My psychologist is on my side and he tries to help but after so many years and disappointments it's hard to trust.

I took some pictures tonight and tried to be nice to myself but honestly they suck. It has been months since I have touched my camera. I even pulled out the studio lights but I just am not at the level I used to be. Lack of practice and energy are showing. (Not that I was really good before...but I was better).

I know you peeps will never tell me I have nothing to hurt over. You will never minimize my pain. I appreciate that so much.

I'm so sorry Cecil. I know the pain you are in and I know the anger you feel. I also know the feeling of wanting to stop the healing process and just let it be. But I realized if I did that then I would be stuck in all the pain and anguish and I didn't want that. There was a promise that on the other side of the healing process was a full wonderful life with no fear and no pain and I wanted that. And I have found it. And you will too.

I am glad your therapist is on your side. Hang in there and please keep moving forward. It will get better.

Take care

Sorry to hear everything you have been through, and the nitwits who are out there to help don't ..
I know that some therapists out there are not very professionals. I had one tell me to my face " are you sure the kid was younger than you really rape you?? But he was younger than you"
That session ended right then, nvr went back, and nvr set foot in that building again...

I'm so sorry that stupid ppl have put you and all of us through this turmoil ... But you are stronger than you know, and have friends on here and sadly we understand where you are coming from, and still care for you anyways!!

I am sorry for your disappointments. I would not give up. I am sorry you told yourlate husband and he reacted that way. I would have felt so vioiated like you must have. It is never to late. I did not have any help growing up . I believe the Lord has delivered me from my abuse and now I can heal. You need to find the right counselor . I work with a Christian counselor and horses, equine therepy. working with them is amazing and I love it. I have been to counselors that told me they couldn't help me anymore. I did not know what was wrong with me. I thought I was beyond help and something inside just kept me going. I accepted the Lord as my Savior at age 10 and he has been giving me hope to keep going. People will fail you but God is always there. Don't let stupid people (insensitve) get in the way of your healing. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son , that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life."

Cecil, I wish someone could have been there for you too. Even if they couldn't help really, it would have been nice to know at least a little kindness. As a child I knew that others knew, but they had no power to help. You deserved better, especially from your husband and the health care professionals. I am sorry for all your pain.


Sugarbear, I have heard really good things about therapy with horses. I'm too scared of them (they have such big teeth lol) so it wouldn't work for me, but animals are such a valuable source of healing that it is wonderful you could get in such a program. Sounds like it has helped you a lot too.